The Second Hand Unwinds
by brookemopolitan
Summary: An arrow tattoo seems like an appropriate way to remember Oliver and the sacrifices he'd made for her, for his family and for his city... until Felicity realises that maybe, she has something else to remember him by as well. AU from The Climb. Oliver eventually makes an appearance, I promise. (Cross posted at A03)
1. Chapter 1

I binge watched Arrow... and then I needed to soothe my wounded soul after 3x09. So after some prompting from my beloved bestie (who nudged me into Arrow watching in the first place), this was born. So thank you, Em, for getting me to watch, listen to me whine, supporting the process and then beta-ing the crap out of my ellipsis abuse.

A solid chunk of this story is already written, and updates will be posted on a weekly basis (so late on Monday night, Australian time).

I own nothing except my own neurosis about how this show will break my heart in the latter half of the season.

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><p>It had been well over a month since he'd pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, sworn that he loved her and disappeared into the night. Then silence. So much silence.<p>

He should be back by now. Even without his Fortune 500 Company, Oliver Queen was a man of means. A.R.G.U.S, Bratva and God knows what other underground organisations he'd encountered- he could have used any one of them to get back to Starling. Even if he'd been injured in the fight, surely he would have gotten them word by now. If Felicity had even gotten a hint of where he might be, she would have used every resource at her disposal (and she would have stolen resources she didn't have if she needed them) to get him home. There hadn't been a word. Not even a whisper from the League of Assassins…

It was time to face reality- Oliver Queen was dead.

Her grief was visceral; the nausea that had been her companion for weeks on end crawled up her throat, creating a knot that threatened to choke her. A garbled sob escaped her lips… Felicity really, _really_ wished that she hadn't had her realisation standing in the street in the busiest part of Starling City.

People were starting to stare. Felicity sniffled, her anxiety beginning to rear its ugly head. The idea of having a meltdown in front of all these people only made her feel more agitated. She needed a distraction and she needed it immediately.

She forced herself to observe her surroundings (she'd been walking around in a bubble, completely unaware of who and what was around her. Oliver would have been so ashamed). She just needed something to focus on. She could fall apart at home. Zeroing in on a storefront, she walked inside.

Swallowing hard, Felicity walked up to the front desk. "You can totally laugh at me later, but do you have time to give me white girl tattoo?"

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><p>It was fitting, Felicity mused. None of her body modifications had been well planned. The butterfly tattoo on her foot, that she shared with her mother, done on her eighteenth birthday was a rare moment when mother and daughter were in sync, so as clichéd as it was, Felicity couldn't regret it. Allowing a friend of a friend who "totally knows like, exactly what I'm doing," to do the industrial piercing she'd always wanted in freshman year of college was a less intelligent idea- the infection had lasted for months. Her nose ring, tongue stud and the bar in her belly had all been spur of the moment trips to a piercing parlour, markers of her days of hacktivism with the Rising Tide, all left behind when her encounter with the FBI hit a little too close to home.<p>

Felicity had tossed around the idea of transcribing something into binary code and having it tattooed onto her, but she'd never been able to find words she wanted to have with her the rest of her life. Who knew, maybe she was over thinking the whole thing?

"What do you think?" The tattoo artist held up a sketch. Felicity smiled for what had to be the first time in weeks. The arrow was delicate, a thin cord woven round the shaft.

"It's perfect," Felicity answered truthfully. "But can we do it in green?"

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><p>The pain had been centring. The white-hot pinches of the tattoo gun on the soft skin of her forearm, starting just under where her wrist bone connected to her hand at the thumb and ran halfway up her radius bone felt strangely soothing. The burn of the needle on her flesh was a distraction; giving her something to focus on instead of the emptiness clawing at her insides.<p>

She nodded wordlessly at the tattoo artist's directions for aftercare, doing her best to look like she was paying attention. She suspected that the artist knew she hadn't listened to damn word he said, because he shoved a tube of antibacterial lotion into her hands, as well as a sheet of instructions.

God, she was so tired. Diggle had insisted on keeping The Arrow alive in Starling City, lest suspicion be aroused that Oliver Queen and The Arrow had disappeared from the city at the same time. So after a long day working for Ray Palmer, Felicity stepped up to her role at Team Arrow and ran comms for the evening as Digg and Roy trawled the streets, serving up criminals for Laurel to prosecute.

Felicity had fallen into bed around dawn, exhausted but unable to sleep. She'd had vivid dreams, unable to fall into real slumber. She forced herself out of bed sometime in the early afternoon, thrown on the first thing she'd found in her closet and gone out with the intention of buying groceries. Felicity had entertained wild notions of adulting responsibly and buying food that did not require four minutes in the microwave to prepare. She even found a recipe for pretzel brittle- a new, unexpected craving- and the idea of stuffing her emotions with food wasn't an unwelcome one.

Instead, she wandered aimlessly around the city for hours, exploring without actually seeing anything. Rubbing her hand against the cling film wrapped around her wrist, Felicity made her way across the street to the subway station. Effective adulting was going to have to happen another day. She prayed for a quiet night on the Team Arrow front; she needed a hot shower, pizza and mindless TV on the couch until she could trick her body into sleeping.

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><p>The January air had seeped deep into her bones and left her freezing. When she finally wandered back into her townhouse the first thing she did was tug off her thick coat and made a beeline for the bathroom, desperate to pee. She hadn't been drinking any more water (coffee) than she usually did, but her trips to the bathroom had increased exponentially of late.<p>

It was like her body was going into revolt over Oliver's death. She could feel the beginning of a head cold forming; her throat was sore and her nose was sure to start running in the next day or so.

She stripped off her clothes, letting out a huff of pain as she removed her bra. Her boobs were tender- far more so than they usually were each month, but her bloated belly and the cramping between her hipbones hinted that her moon time was right around the corner. The smattering of pimples along her T-zone was new, though. Felicity rarely got pimples and, when she did, it was only ever around her mouth. She took it as a personal affront that her skin would be rude enough to break out when she was barely keeping it together and she really didn't need her face acting like a petulant teenager. It was just another way that her life sucked.

After peeling away the cling wrap from her wrist and throwing it into the garbage, Felicity grabbed the antibacterial soap she kept under her sink and methodically began to scrub at her new tattoo.

She could practically hear Past Felicity laughing at her. Past Felicity, the one who had been strangely lonely after dropping her mother to the airport. Past Felicity had invited Oliver into her home and they'd cracked open the bottle of red wine he brought with him. Then they'd moved onto the terrible bottle of scotch she had stashed in the back of her pantry. Three quarters of the way into the bottle, she'd asked about the mottled patch of scars on his lower back. He had peeled the shirt off to aid the story telling and, even through the haze of booze, Felicity had felt the weight of privilege to be able to trace her fingers across the marred flesh. She couldn't rightly remember who had kissed whom, but they'd ended up a tangled pile of naked limbs on her living room floor. The next day, she'd traced the bright purple marks he'd left on her skin and sworn that it would never happen again. She wasn't going to be _that_ girl… If he'd decided that it was too dangerous for them to be together, she wasn't going to give him any of the benefits of a relationship.

Then he tangled with the League of Assassins. He'd stormed through her front door fresh from accepting his trial by combat and kissed her. She'd never seen him so scared and she'd been desperate to comfort him anyway she could. She'd been getting ready for an evening meeting with Palmer when he'd picked the lock to her apartment door and he'd wasted no time in stripping off her robe and hoisting her against the wall. Afterwards, all she could do was beg him to kill Ra's al Ghul and come home. He'd left her with a kiss on the forehead and humble reassurance that he loved her.

That time around, the purple marks on her body had been welcomed. They were little reminders that she'd taken a chance and loved Oliver Queen while she could. Those marks had faded and now all Felicity had left of him was an arrow tattoo and a broken heart.

The steaming water of her shower was an excellent mask for her tears. She sobbed for Oliver; he was gone and he was never going to come back. There would be no miraculous return from the grave this time. His body was going to be left to rot, not given the dignity of a proper burial- that cut her the deepest. Her spiritual foundations screamed that his body should have been wrapped in white linen and been buried in a simple timber casket without delay. She should have sat _shiva _for him and grieved with Thea instead of avoiding her calls for the last month.

Nothing about this was fair. Everything was wrong.

Slightly lightheaded from the steam, Felicity shut off the water. She dried off methodically and dressed her tattoo with the ointment she'd been given. She grabbed her favourite strawberry scented lotion, popped the cap and immediately began to gag. Could lotion go bad? She'd never smelled something so awful in her life. Slamming the lid closed, she checked for a date that would indicate that it should be thrown out… She froze. How, _how_ could she have been so stupid?

She dashed to find her phone, opening up an app and scanned for the little flower that marked the start of her last cycle, before cursing loudly about the fact that she'd managed to forget to use the damn app that was supposed to make her life easier for nearly a year.

Felicity wanted to throw up and it had nothing to do with the lingering smell of her lotion in the air. She took a deep breath. It could be nothing, she reasoned. She'd been under a ridiculous amount of stress lately, both at her grown up job and with Team Arrow. There was no need to jump to conclusions. She would give herself a week. Then she would allow herself to panic.

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><p>There was a strange numbness as Felicity stared at the tiny plastic stick. She didn't feel the urge to run to the pharmacy to take another test, just to be sure. The two lines were there, plain as day.<p>

She was pregnant.

She dropped the stick into her bathroom trashcan and stumbled towards her laptop. She booked herself a flight and shot an email to Ray saying she was taking a half-day the next day and she'd be unavailable to be contacted over the weekend. She didn't give a shit that it was a professional courtesy to give more than six hours' notice that she'd be out of the office for half a day.

She knew that her mother would be at work, but it didn't stop her from calling anyway. "Mommy," she sniffled. "I really need you, okay? My flight lands at 3.30pm and I'll get a cab back to the apartment. Don't change your shifts or anything; I just want to talk face to face. Love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

Felicity sent Diggle a text informing that she'd be out of town for the weekend and she couldn't take point on comms, grateful that the criminals of Starling City had taken Thursday night for some me time instead of terrorising the city.

She closed her eyes and lay back against her couch. She was an intelligent woman. She'd seen firsthand how hard single parenthood was. Felicity was well aware that she had options. She slapped her fingers against her tattoo- it was beginning to heal and it was just starting to itch. Daring to trace her fingers against the belly that really just looked puffy from too many tacos rather than puffy with a human inside it, she mused that just maybe she'd have more than a poorly planned tattoo to remember Oliver by.

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><p>I'm on twitter, so follow me there if you'd like... brookemopolitan<p>

I'm very, very nervous about posting this (new fandom fears and all that), so I would love to hear you thoughts.

B x


	2. Chapter 2

I was so delighted with all the lovely responses so far! I feel like I've joined a nice fandom, which is always good!

I hope you continue to enjoy.

Many thanks to all of those who commented on the last chapter, and thanks also to my dear Em for the beta work. You rock, my love.

The only thing I own is a sinceriously shirt (which won't ship for WEEKS!).

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><p>Felicity wasn't actually surprised to see that her Mom was waiting for her at the baggage carousel.<p>

"You didn't think I was letting you get a cab after that voicemail, did you?" Her mom admonished her, pulling her into a tight hug. Felicity hadn't bothered with heels that day, toeing on a pair of well-loved black flats instead, so for once, her mother towered over her.

"Can we go to Bernie's?" Felicity asked. She'd spent the entire flight with knots in her stomach and she wanted the familiar comfort of the diner she and her mother had visited for as long as she could remember.

"We can do whatever you want to, Lissy Lou," her mother responded, pulling away from the hug but keeping her arm looped around Felicity. Apparently their kidnapping experience had been a useful bonding exercise… Donna seemed much more in tune with her daughter's need for support.

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><p>Felicity had been fortunate enough to not experience any horrifying bouts of morning sickness thus far and she prayed that the roiling in her stomach was nerves and not the bundle of joy taking up residence in her womb turning against her so soon. Desperate to cling to some normalcy, Felicity ordered the same cheeseburgerchilli fries/banana milkshake combo that she'd been getting since she was nine and steeled herself up for what was going to be the most uncomfortable conversation of all time.

"Felicity, this is not like you," her mom murmured, reaching across the table to grab her hand. "Talk to me, baby girl. What's the matter?"

A knot crept into Felicity's throat. "I'm pregnant," she whispered. It was the first time she'd ever said the words out loud.

Shock crossed her mother's face, before it morphed in a face of pure motherly concern. "And because you're not jumping for joy here, I'm going to guess that your baby daddy walked out on you," Donna surmised.

Felicity felt a flash of protective anger rush through her chest. It took all her self-control not to screech that it wasn't Oliver's fault that he wasn't here for this. That if the universe hadn't been so unbelievably cruel, her baby would have two parents and everything would be white picket fences and sunshine. "Before you go making assumptions," Felicity ground out, "you should know that it's not by choice."

"So somebody forced him away from his obligations, then?" Donna asked. "Felicity, I thought you were smarter than to fall for a line as pathetic as that."

"He's dead!"

Felicity hadn't planned on revealing that. Hell, she didn't know how Oliver's death was going to be dealt with at all. But she couldn't have his memory tainted like that. The Oliver Queen she knew wasn't some deadbeat who would leave a girl high and dry. Her Oliver was _decent_; no matter what was happening between the two of them, she knew that he would have fulfilled his responsibilities. She bowed her head, trying desperately not to sob in the middle of the diner. She heard her mother's high heels clack against the ground before she slid into the booth next to her, drawing Felicity into a tight hug, whispering comfort in her ear.

"How did you do it?" Felicity asked once she managed to get her breathing under control, pulling away from her mother's arms and taking off her glasses so she could wipe at the lenses.

"Do what?"

"You raised me, all by yourself and I turned out okay."

Donna touched her daughter's chin, making sure that Felicity was looking at her. "Felicity Megan Smoak, you turned out more than okay. You, my darling girl, are the greatest thing I ever did," she paused and pressed a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

Their food arrived and there was a moment of silence as they both began to eat. "You get this instinct, I suppose," Donna explained.

"An instinct for what?"

"You have a little life, Felicity. It's inside you for now, but it doesn't stay that way for long. It's going to be all on you to make sure that it's the best kind of life it can have. So everything, every single thing you do is to make sure that your kid has what they need, because all you're going to want is for that little life to have the best that you can give them."

Felicity caught a flash of the ink on her wrist. "So I guess that means I should stop putting pretty pictures on my body as I'm incubating then?"

Donna shrugged. "It's a start," she answered. "We also need to get you taking some vitamins. And you should eat a lot of fish."

"Fish?"

Donna dipped a French fry in Felicity's milkshake. "I read in a pamphlet, when I was pregnant with you, that said if you eat plenty of fish when you're expecting your baby comes out smarter, so that's what I did. And you're the smartest person I know, so I guess it worked."

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><p>Her Mom started work late, so Felicity had a family dinner at home for the first time in years. Just like when she was fourteen years old, Donna dropped a kiss on her daughter's forehead as she left for work and told her not to wait up.<p>

For just a moment, Felicity wondered if it would be better to stay where she was. There was a strange simplicity to life in her childhood home that just didn't exist in Starling City.

Felicity stood in front of the mirror and tugged her shirt off. She didn't _feel _pregnant, though she did wonder if there was a way pregnancy was supposed to feel. She'd started doing some research on the flight to Vegas and she knew that the baby was somewhere between the size of a sesame seed and a kumquat. She let her hands rest on her stomach, fingers forming a heart below her belly button. She wished Oliver were here for this. She knew he'd be completely ridiculous and overprotective. She'd catch him talking to her belly when he thought she wasn't listening and there was no way that he'd let her lift anything heavier than a sheet of paper for the duration of her pregnancy.

"Well," she murmured, feeling equal parts ridiculous and comforted for talking to an empty room. "It looks like it's gonna be you and me, kiddo." It was completely stupid, but Felicity picked up her phone and snapped a photo of herself in the mirror. She pulled her shirt back on and tapped on her tummy. "I think we're going to be okay."

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><p>The first antenatal doctor's appointment had made Felicity feel like more of a blithering idiot than she usually did. She wasn't certain of the date of her last period. The only details of Oliver's medical history she knew was the amount of times she'd patched him up after a mission went south and she could hardly reveal that.<p>

"I know that I seem like some kind of floozy and considering I was valedictorian of my class at MIT you'd think I'd be more responsible than this, but you should know that my life is very, very stressful right now and I know that's not an excuse and now you're giving me a look that makes me think you're really uncomfortable with all my rambling and I think I'll just stop talking now." Felicity drew a deep breath and tried not to burst into tears in the doctor's office.

"Felicity, you need to give yourself a break," her doctor interjected. Despite her anxiety, Felicity found herself inherently trusting Dr Mason. She radiated confidence and professionalism, while still maintaining a bedside manner that didn't intimidate the hell out of a nervous expectant mother. "You're here now, and we're going to give you the best possible care for your baby."

Felicity nodded, wishing for the umpteenth time that there were somebody here to hold her hand.

"Okay, so we've done as much of your medical history as we can, so I think the best thing for us to do is to do a scan and that should give us a clearer picture of where we're at. So I'm going to send you out into the hall and I'm going to get you to start drinking water. You'll need to have about a half a gallon in an hour for us to be able to scan effectively, okay? And I know it's uncomfortable, but you gotta hold it."

"That's a lot of water," Felicity hummed.

"I know it is, but I promise that nobody has ever peed on the bed yet. You'll be fine."

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><p>Felicity lay on the bed with her shirt rucked up around her boobs and cringed as goo was squirted onto her belly.<p>

"Now, depending on how far along you are, we may not see much at all; so I don't want you to panic, Felicity. Even if we don't see anything, you've definitely got a baby growing in there."

Felicity nodded. Everything still felt a little bit surreal and she wondered if this scan was going to make the pregnancy feel concrete in her mind. She felt the wand prod at her lower abdomen and she suppressed a little squeak when it came a little too close to her bladder.

"Listen to this," Dr Mason instructed, flipping a switch. A humming noise, like the galloping of tiny hooves filled the room. "That's your baby's heartbeat. From that, I can tell you that you're at least six weeks along."

Felicity nodded. She wasn't sure if the math on that was quite correct, but she also didn't really want to discuss the two possible encounters that had led to the tiny drumming that echoed throughout the room with her doctor.

"And here we go," Dr Mason turned the monitor towards Felicity, pointing to the screen. "See that right there? That's your baby."

Because she was a total cliché, tears sprang to Felicity's eyes. "I made that?" She asked.

"You sure did."

She sniffled. "It looks like an alien."

Dr Mason actually laughed out loud. "When they're that little, they all tend to look a little alien-y. We might let it get a little bit cuter before we unleash it."

Felicity huffed out a laugh. "Sounds like a good plan." She kept her eyes on the screen as Dr Mason did some clicking around and took some notes.

"Everything looks really good, Felicity. Going by this scan, I'm going to say you're just under eleven weeks pregnant and everything looks totally on track for a normal pregnancy."

The knot that had been sitting in Felicity's chest for the two and a half weeks that she'd realised she could be expecting finally loosened. "Are you sure?"

"As sure as I can be at this stage. We'll continue monitoring you, of course, but given that you're a healthy young woman, the only red flag for me is this job that has you so stressed. You're going to need to work on managing your workload and all that comes with it, because stress could end up causing a lot of problems. At this stage, we're on track for a delivery in early July."

Felicity nodded. Managing the stress of living and breathing Team Arrow would be a struggle, but she was going to have to do it.

Dr Mason switched off the monitor and grabbed a cloth to wipe at Felicity's belly. "You'll be able to grab copies of the scan at the front desk. Feel free to whip them out when you're sharing your good news," she informed Felicity with a wink.

Felicity nodded. It sounded like she was only getting photographs, but Felicity was getting her hands on that video one way or another. She doubted that it would even be a challenging hack. "So, can I pee now?"

She barely heard the answer as she bolted down the hallway to the bathroom.

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><p>I'd love to hear your thoughts.<p>

Come play with me on twitter! brookemopolitan

or teach me how to tumblr... also brookemopolitan

B x


	3. Chapter 3

A few people have asked me if Oliver is going to appear before the baby is born... the short answer to that is yes, he will.

This fic is shamelessly Felicity centric though, so buckle up!

Thank you all so much for your kind words and kudos so far. It means the world to me.

I own nothing. Nothing at all. If you sue me, you can have the deposit for my trip to the USA.

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><p>Felicity started at herself in the mirror. "Get it together," she muttered. "There's no reason for them not to be totally happy for you."<p>

She was slowly starting to let everybody know. After sending her Mom a photo of the scan, her friend Skye from her hacktivist days had been first. Felicity didn't know the full story of what exactly Skye was tangled up in these days, but it sounded like Skye was living her own version of "it's complicated" as a relationship descriptor (something about the guy she'd had a crush on not being who she thought he was?), but none the less, she'd found the time to Skype with Felicity from an unknown location-Felicity had tried to run a hack and GPS lock her location, but had been unable to figure out the coding Skye was using to make it seem as if she was in four places at once in their brief conversation, but Felicity was determined to crack it. Her best friend squealed with joy over her news, reminding Felicity that Skye was an excellent name for a baby.

She had to tell Team Arrow face to face about the pregnancy. She figured they deserved that. Tugging on her favourite coat, she grabbed her handbag and walked out the door before she was late for the dinner Digg and Lyla were hosting. She would tell them tonight, she decided. She just needed to find a way to naturally work it into conversation.

When baby Sara started crying midway through dessert, Felicity saw her opportunity. "You guys stay where you are," she insisted, springing out of her chair. "I can grab her."

"Are you sure?" Diggle asked her, but she was already halfway down the hallway.

Felicity emerged, bouncing Sara on her hip to settle her. "I'm totally sure," she replied holding out her finger for Sara to grab onto, cooing gently at the baby as she calmed down. Seizing all her courage, she added, "Besides, it's good practice for when I have one of my own in July."

There was a moment of silence, punctuated only by Sara's babbles.

"Wow, congratulations," Roy broke the silence; standing up and pulling Felicity into a one armed hug. "You'll be a great Mom."

Lyla squeezed her shoulder and suggested they do coffee in the near future, promising Felicity that she had plenty of hand me downs that she could pass on, before plucking Sara out of her arms and heading away to do diaper duty.

Diggle gave Felicity a look that pierced her soul. Felicity nodded in answer to his unspoken question. He pulled her into a tight hug. "Felicity, I'm really happy for you, but I'm so sorry you're doing this without him."

"Isn't that why I have you guys?" She asked in reply. Pulling away from the hug, she looked over at Roy. "I already know that Roy will be the uncle that pumps the kid full of sugar and gets them a fake ID."

"Guilty as charged," he replied, holding up his hands in a mock "don't shoot" position.

Felicity's phone buzzed. She looked at caller ID and quickly silenced it. She cleared her throat. "There is one thing that we have to talk about though," she mentioned.

Roy looked down at his phone, before following Felicity's lead and muting the call. "Thea's been calling you too?" He asked.

"Non stop, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to tell her." Felicity ran a hand through her hair. "Maybe it's time we told her the truth."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Roy asked.

"She's already neck deep with Malcolm Merlyn. Let's not pretend she's as pure as fresh fallen snow. She needs to know exactly what basket she's putting all her eggs in," Felicity argued.

* * *

><p>They settled into the living room to discuss how exactly they were going to break it to Thea that her brother was dead, again. Felicity balanced a cup of herbal tea on her knee and watched enviously as boys knocked back coffee before going on patrol.<p>

"So, we tell her everything, we show her the Arrow Cave. Oliver's dead, though. What possible reason does she have not to sell us out to the cops?" Diggle pointed out.

The Felicity of two years ago would have argued that they needed to see the best in people and would have suggested that they worry about contingencies like that one as they arose. But in the two years she'd been on Team Arrow, she'd seen way too much of the darkness in humanity to ever suggest that they just hope for the best. There was far too much at stake.

"I can already see you judging me," Lyla interjected. "But I'm going to be the scary ARGUS lady and interject for a moment here and point out what your only option is."

"And what option is that?" Roy asked.

"You're showing her the video, right?"

"That's part of the plan," Felicity said.

"That video is your insurance policy. Make it clear to her that if she breathes a word of what you tell her to anybody who shouldn't know about it, that video goes directly to Ra's al Ghul."

"Are you suggesting that we threaten her?" Roy asked, his teeth clenched to hide his rage.

"I am suggesting that you make it clear that there's the threat of mutually assured destruction," Lyla replied. "If she sells you out, not only will her brother's death be for nothing, but she's going to have no allies and the full weight of the League of Assassins coming down on her. Her father can't protect her from that."

Roy stood up and Felicity could tell that he was a hair's breadth away from snapping and losing control. She needed to diffuse the situation, quickly. "I'll do it," she interjected.

Heads swivelled to look at her. "If it means that my baby," she paused for a second to compose herself, "that _Oliver's_ baby isn't born in a prison cell and then dumped into the system because Mommy was tangled up with a bunch of vigilantes, I will absolutely use the threat of Ra's al Ghul as a means to protect my child."

She was shocked about how deadly serious she was. There it was; that instinct that her mother had told her about. She was the only person in this world that her baby had, and she was going to be ruthless if it meant her child would be safe.

* * *

><p>The next time that Thea called Roy, he had her meet him at the Foundry.<p>

"I don't understand why we had to meet here," Thea pressed, frowning as Roy tugged her towards the side door that had never properly opened or closed. Her brow furrowed further when she saw Roy key in a code that she'd never seen before. "Are you planning on explaining what the hell is going on?" She demanded as she followed Roy down the stairs.

"That's why we brought you down here, Thea. To explain what's going on," Diggle answered.

Thea was finally silent, her mouth hanging open in shock as she took in the foundry, turning in a circle to see the training mats, Felicity's computer bay and finally, the glass cases that held the Arrow and Arsenal suits. She turned back to Roy, her eyes feral with rage. "I knew you were the Arrow!" she hissed. "You lied to me!"

"He's not the Arrow," Felicity interjected softly. She waited for Thea to turn and face her before she tapped at her keyboard. Launched onto the screen was a photo that really never should have been taken, but was undeniably useful in this scenario. She'd taken it about a year ago… Oliver had scaled the side of the Salmon Ladder, hooked around the frame by his knees, bow and arrow in hand. At the time, he'd been demonstrating something to Roy, but the most significant thing about the photo (aside from how handsome he looked, but that was Felicity's private observation that had no bearing on the current circumstance) was that minus the mask, Oliver was in his full Arrow garb.

It seemed that Malcolm Merlyn hadn't told his daughter everything. "Ollie," she murmured as she took a step back from the monitors. "Ollie was The Arrow the whole time." It was like she'd been slapped. "I don't understand, why are you showing me this?"

"Thea, we know your father has been training you the way he was trained," Diggle announced.

"There's something more that you need to see, but you should probably sit down," Felicity suggested. God, she felt so horrible about what she was about to do. Once Thea sat down next to her, Felicity hit play on that video, biting onto her lip so hard she drew blood.

Once the video stopped, the only sound in the room was Thea's agitated gasps. "But I didn't _do_ that. I couldn't. Why would I shoot somebody in the chest? I'm not even that great with a bow."

"That was Sara Lance," Roy murmured.

Thea turned around, her eyes glassy. "What do you mean, that's Sara? No way!"

"After Sara was shipwrecked, she was rescued by the League of Assassins," Diggle told her. "You know about the League, right?

"Bits and pieces," Thea replied, accepting a tissue from the box offered to her by Felicity. "My dad said he was trained by them and left."

"He was released by them," Felicity clarified. "On the condition that he followed the code of the League. The Undertaking was in direct violation of that and he's had a price on his head because of it ever since your mother told the League he was alive."

Thea sniffled. "So what does Sara have to do with any of this?" She asked. "And how the hell did I shoot her?"

"Sara and Nyssa, Ra's al Ghul's daughter, were lovers," Felicity answered. "Anybody who dared mess with her was going to have the entire League on their ass."

"Your father told us that he used a drug on you that made you open to his suggestion without you remembering it and then he ordered you to kill Sara," Diggle explained.

"Why would he do that? I don't understand!"

"Because he knew that your brother would do anything to keep you safe!" Felicity burst out. She'd done so well to control her emotions during this retelling, but now they threatened to overwhelm her.

"How does Oliver fit into any of this? It makes _no sense!_" Thea argued.

"Because he set you all up! Merlyn has been desperate for revenge against your brother because Oliver killed anybody involved in the Undertaking and forced him underground. Malcolm lost everything because of him. So he used the one thing he knew would motivate Oliver over anything else. He used you!" Felicity drew a breath and forced herself to remain composed, though she could feel the tears threatening to spill.

"Under the code of the League of Assassins, Oliver had the right to trial by combat," Roy explained.

"Guys, it's a little too soon for April Fool's Day jokes," Thea ground out, clinging to sarcasm as her last defence as she stood up and began to move towards the exit. "Try again in a few months. Now where is my brother?"

"Your brother is dead!" Felicity hissed, a hot tear slipping down her cheek "He travelled to god knows where and fought Ra's al Ghul to the death, just so you could be safe because your father is evil and had no hesitation in throwing you to the wolves!"

It was so unfair to be angry with Thea, but all Felicity could feel was rage. Felicity turned away from Thea and tried to regain her composure, wrapping her arms around herself.

"But do we know? Do we _know _that he's dead?" Felicity heard Thea plead. "We thought he was dead before, but he was fine! He came back to us!"

Felicity felt Diggle's hand on her shoulder. She looked up and gave him her best attempt at a watery smile. "We always knew this would be hell in a handbasket."

Felicity swung her chair around to see Thea clinging to Roy as she sobbed and pleaded for it to all be a cosmic joke. She stood up and walked over to her. "Thea, listen to me," Felicity commanded. "There is nobody in this world that wants this not to be true as much as I do. But we need to face reality. Your brother left, almost two months ago to fight one of the most ruthless and bloodthirsty men to ever walk this planet. We haven't seen or heard anything from him or the League since then. I don't think you get a second chance at coming back from the dead. Thea, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's not fair," Thea hiccupped, pulling away from Roy looking utterly forlorn with her red eyes and tear stained face.

"No, it's not," Felicity agreed, reaching out to grab her hand. "There is absolutely nothing about this that is fair."

"He was all I had left," Thea murmured as she scrubbed at her nose with a tissue. "If Malcolm really did this, then he is _not_ my family. I'm all alone now."

Felicity had to remind herself that this moment was not about her. She couldn't be consumed by her pain. This had to be about Thea- the girl who had lost her brother for the second time in less than ten years. "Hey," Felicity addressed her softly. "You're not as alone as you think. You need a family? There's always room for you at my place."

"Mine too," Diggle added. Roy nodded silently in agreement.

"So, is this the part when you tell me that if I tell anybody about this vigilante thing you've got going on, you'll kill me?" Thea asked, a pathetic attempt at a joke.

"We're the ones with that video under lock and key. If you were to turn us in, that video would be evidence, along with every other file on Felicity's computer. We'd have no way of controlling who sees that video and as far as we can tell, the League has eyes everywhere," Roy answered.

"I don't think any of us expect you to join the crusade, Thea, but I would hope that you'd respect us enough to keep it quiet," Felicity said. God, she hoped she didn't have to play hardball with her. She hoped it could stay nice and civilised.

"It doesn't sound like I have much of an option. Nyssa was the woman who kidnapped me, wasn't she?"

"That would be her," Felicity answered. "Don't worry, she scares me too."

Thea gave her a watery laugh and then checked her phone. "Crap! The club opens in an hour and I must look like I got run over by a truck."

"Thea, I've got this. Give yourself the night," Roy suggested. "I can handle the club for one evening for you."

"Do you need me on comms tonight, Dig?" Felicity asked.

He shook his head. "Nah. Lyla has to work, so it's daddy daughter night."

Felicity turned to Thea. "I totally respect if you want to be alone now, because I know I sound like a dying walrus when I really need to cry, but I feel like you should know that I have a lot of ice cream in my house right now and if you wanted to help me eat it, that would be okay. But I won't be mad if you say no. So, you know, it's up to you…"

"That actually sounds kinda nice," Thea interrupted

* * *

><p>I'd love to hear what you think!<p>

As always, follow me on twitter as brookemopolitan :)

B xx


	4. Chapter 4

Ahhh!

I'm late in posting this! I'm so sorry! Life got in the way, cos it sucks heaps.

Here, have a chapter now!

I'll go back to posting on Mondays this week (so really, you're getting two really close together, whoo!)

* * *

><p>Felicity circled the block as Thea ran up to her apartment to grab her things. Oliver had mentioned that Thea was paying her rent with Merlyn's money, so she could see why Thea may not want to spend a whole lot of time there right now. They travelled back to Felicity's townhouse in silence, whatever Top 40 hit on the radio filling up the sound of all the things not being said.<p>

"So, the bathroom is the first door on your left there, so feel free to head in and freshen up. There are towels in the closet just next to it and use anything you want in the bathroom," Felicity directed Thea through her apartment, wishing that she'd thought to straighten up a little before she invited guests over.

"I won't be long," Thea responded shyly, clearly feeling a little overwhelmed and awkward.

Felicity snagged the second hand copy of _What To Expect When You're Expecting_ off the corner of her couch as she made her way to her room. She pulled her hair out of the tight ponytail it had been in all day and tugged on her PJs, grumbling to herself when she realised that her fat pants were becoming increasingly tight. The day was coming where she was going to have to go buy maternity clothing was rapidly approaching and she just wasn't sure that she was ready for that level of reality.

So far, the fact that an actual infant comes after the period of pregnancy was a connection she'd yet to firmly make in her mind. She was aware of the cause and effect relationship between pregnancy and childbirth but, so far, she'd just felt fat. A look in the mirror confirmed that she was actually starting to actually look _pregnant_. Clad in a bright pink bra and her fat pants, Felicity took a photo of herself and sent it to her mother, as she promised that she would each week. Shrugging on an old MIT tee shirt and a hoodie she zipped up halfway, Felicity moved back to her kitchen.

She heard the shower shut off, so Felicity opened up her refrigerator, inspecting what was in there. She'd been doing her best to eat as healthily as she could but, tonight, comfort food was going to have to happen. She smiled as Thea came out of the bathroom, squeezing her hair with a towel. "How do you feel about breakfast for dinner?" Felicity asked.

Thea raised an eyebrow. "Is it as straightforward as it sounds?"

Felicity shrugged. "Any time something went wrong as a kid, this is what my Mom and I did. She says that there's never a problem that can't be solved with pancakes."

"Pancakes sound great," Thea replied. "How do you want me to help?"

Felicity directed Thea to a chopping board and asked her to slice fruit. A comfortable silence spread across the room until Felicity pulled up her sleeves and began to dollop neat circles of batter onto a sizzling hot pan at the stovetop.

"So, I'm guessing that you didn't get that tattoo because an arrow has to go backwards before it can go forwards," Thea remarked.

Felicity felt her face flush and hoped that she could brush it off as heat from the stove. "I'd say you'd be right on the money, then," she replied, flipping a pancake out of the pan and onto a plate. Felicity wanted to have a good relationship with Thea, she really did. "Your brother and I were… complicated," she admitted.

"My brother and women usually were," Thea replied. "But I think you were different."

"What makes you say that?" Felicity asked, certain that she was blushing scarlet to the roots of her hair.

"Because my brother used to be ridiculous around women. He could always talk about where he took girls on dates and what they did, but never a thing about what they said. But the second you became his EA, all I heard was anecdotes from the office," she paused and summoned up her best Oliver impression. "So today Felicity told me the funniest thing… Did you know that Felicity is a genius with computers? Felicity is way too smart to be my EA."

"He did not say that last part," Felicity interjected good naturedly, picking up plates and gesturing for Thea to follow her to the table. "Besides, I only got that position so that we could more effectively plan vigilante activity. I made him well aware that I was too smart to be his EA."

Thea walked over to the freezer and pulled out ice cream, stopping to grab cutlery on the way, with the casual ease of being in her own home. "Do you have a flavour preference? Cos you've got a lot of options here."

"I've been betrayed by mint chip, so I'll go with cookie dough," Felicity replied without giving much thought to her answer.

"How do you get betrayed by ice cream?" Thea asked, handing Felicity the ice cream and sitting down next to her, peeling the lid off the tub of chocolate fudge she'd chosen for herself.

Felicity blanched. Her mouth had run away from her, _again_, and now she had to face the consequences in the form of a grieving young woman who could totally kick her ass. There was no way she would lie to Thea, because her circumstances were nothing to be ashamed of. "You remember when I said your brother and I were complicated, right?"

"Sure," Thea replied, leaning forward to stab a pancake and put it on her plate.

"Yeah, well, we were really, really complicated," Felicity muttered. "Is it hot in here? It feels really hot." She stripped off her hoodie.

"Felicity, relax. It can't be as bad as finding out your father was the guy that destroyed Starling City."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Felicity replied. "You know what I said, back at the foundry? About you not being alone as you thought you were? I wasn't kidding. You're not the only one left because I'm having a baby."

"You and Oliver?" Thea asked. "But you weren't together?"

Felicity shook her head. Thus far Thea didn't seem to be taking too badly.

"You weren't kidding about the complicated," Thea muttered. "I've only been begging him to give me a niece or nephew since I was ten."

"Oh my god, you're okay with it," Felicity sighed with relief. "I totally thought you were going to punch me."

"The only reason I'd have to punch you was if you told me you were pregnant and that I could never see the kid," Thea replied.

Felicity put a generous smothering of nutella onto a pancake, before heaping on fruit. "Oh no, I would never do that," she swore. "If somebody has family who wants them, then they should see each other. I would never stand in the way of that."

* * *

><p>There was some sappy rom-com playing on Felicity's TV screen, but neither woman was watching it.<p>

"I knew it was too good to be true, to have him back after so long," Thea murmured. "I kept waiting. That other shoe was going to drop, but this time I'd be ready. Just when I was letting my guard down, Ollie disappears."

"There's no dignity," Felicity mused. "You'd think they'd at least send a carrier pigeon to gloat. At this point, I'd practically welcome a visit from Nyssa."

"At least now there's no reason for anybody to come after you and the baby, though, right?" Thea asked. "The debt that was my fault is settled. We're back to square one."

In the deepest, darkest corners of her mind, Felicity worried that they'd never truly be safe. Even beyond the League of Assassins, Oliver had made plenty of enemies. He wasn't around for retribution, but his child might prove a good alternative. "I suppose that's a slightly more positive way to look at it," Felicity responded.

"What did you mean by you'd never keep family apart who want each other?" Thea asked after a few moments of silence.

Felicity sighed. "I grew up in a single parent household. After my dad walked out, my Mom thought the best thing for me was to cut off all my contact with his side of the family. I never got to see my cousins, or my grandparents or anybody else. She even changed my last name."

"Why would she do that?" Thea asked.

"She really thought she was protecting me and, I guess in some ways, she was right. My dad had toyed with my emotions for years and she didn't want anybody to hurt me any more than I already had been," Felicity answered. She cleared her throat. "She said I'd understand when I was older. Now that I'm in the same situation, I'm still not sure that I do. My kid deserves family and not just the one I chose for myself. They deserve their own flesh and blood too, from both sides."

"Does that mean that I'm allowed to take the kid to Paris for their thirteenth birthday?"

"I think Trans-Atlantic trips for birthdays will be negotiated on a case by case basis."

* * *

><p>The thing you've all been asking about?<p>

Totally happens in the next chapter... so if you're really nice, you could tempt me into posting early ;)

B xx


	5. Chapter 5

This is it, guys. The chapter you've all been waiting for!

Be nice, and remember that I wrote this before the show came back from hiatus. We're very AU here (which is how I'm justifying basically ignoring Laurel, haha)

* * *

><p>There had been surprisingly few fireworks when Felicity had filed the appropriate paperwork for her maternity leave. Ever since their conversation about his fiancée, Ray had been completely professional and courteous towards her. In return, she'd kept her mouth shut about the ATOM program (which she prayed wouldn't lead to yet another vigilante cruising through Starling) and had avoided taking personal days. It wasn't really like she'd had a reason to, lately. The Arrow wasn't in over his head like he usually was taking down Dark Archers and terrorist organisations… mostly; he was rounding up the middlemen in The Glades.<p>

She texted back an affirmative to Diggle to meeting at the foundry that night. The Arrow hadn't been spotted anywhere in Starling City for over two weeks now and the criminal underclass were beginning to think that they could run the city. They had to be shaken out of that notion immediately.

Felicity had sent a photograph to her mother that morning, marking that she was seventeen weeks pregnant. She and the Bug (the nickname Roy had used jokingly one night that then stuck) were doing well. Felicity's energy had finally started to return; the breakouts on her face settling back down. The struggle between the burningly hot Mexican food the baby craved and heartburn after each meal was real but, all in all, Felicity couldn't complain too much. She logged out her computer and waved to Jerry (who was still acting like she was the carrier of some horrifying disease rather than a growing human life) as she headed to the elevator. After all the turmoil of the past months, her life was finally starting to settle back into the routine that she'd been craving.

* * *

><p>Nobody had said a word when Felicity had co-opted pieces of Oliver's clothing that had been left in the foundry (in fact, Felicity suspected that Thea had dropped off more and more items in the weeks since she'd found out the truth). They were comfortable and they fit over the Bug when she was sitting in the foundry alone, running communication lines for the boys. Tonight, she was clad in yoga pants and one of his enormous hoodies, her toes kept warm by a well-worn pair of Ugg boots.<p>

She stretched her feet up onto the bench as she waited for both Roy and Diggle to radio in, munching on a slice of sourdough toast smothered in avocado. They'd been in pursuit of a midlevel drug dealer making a name for himself in the Glades who was starting to edge into Bratva territory. If this guy got too big for his boots, there was a very dangerous and real possibility that a gang war could be triggered- a situation Team Arrow were keen to avoid.

"Felicity, we've made an anonymous call to the cops about our friend," Diggle's voice came through the earpiece, startling Felicity out of her reverie. "You might want to give Laurel a friendly heads up."

"Sure thing," Felicity replied, trying to sound like she didn't have a mouth full of food. "Are you guys going to need to be stitched back together?"

"I got slashed, but I don't think it's too bad," Roy replied. "But we'll see you soon, right?"

"I better see you both," Felicity replied. "Get your asses back here ASAP, please."

Muting the communication system with two of her favourite vigilantes, Felicity tapped on her keyboard and waited for Laurel's sleepy greeting. It was 2am and Felicity always felt guilty for calling, but Laurel had insisted that they tip her off.

"Hey Laurel," Felicity chirped. "I know it's late, but I've got you a present. Does the name Filipe Marquez mean anything to you?"

"You got me a drug dealing lowlife?" Laurel asked, her tone still groggy with sleep. "And it's not even my birthday. You shouldn't have!"

"I'll make sure the boys are in touch if they've got any goodies from the scene."

"Thanks, Felicity. I'll be seeing you!"

Felicity moved the plate of toast crust off her lap and onto the desk and stood up to stretch. This was a good night. This was a night where she'd actually get a decent amount of sleep. Gosh, sometimes it felt good to be a vigilante.

She damn near jumped out of her skin when she heard the steps of the foundry rattle. The footsteps were far too heavy to be Thea's and given that Roy and Diggle had headed out for the evening on motorbikes, they wouldn't have been entering from the club's entrance. Felicity did her best to quell the panic flooding her body, fumbling towards the top drawer of her desk where she knew there was a loaded Glock G21 sitting, waiting to be used for her protection.

The light caught the stranger's face as he made it to the bottom of the stairs and Felicity forgot how to breathe. No. It wasn't possible.

"Felicity," Oliver sighed, her name a breath of fresh air to a suffocating man.

Before Felicity could react, he strode towards her, his hands capturing her face as he pulled her into a kiss.

He kissed like Oliver did, Felicity mused as her hands traced broad shoulders that were undeniably familiar.

Her rational mind screamed at her that this was impossible. The rattle of the foundry door that opened to the street broke the moment and Felicity pulled away.

The man before her looked scruffy, to be completely honest. Stubble that had once been carefully trimmed into devil-may-care perfection was now overlong and scraggly on hollow cheeks- he'd lost some weight, it seemed. But those haunted blue eyes… They definitely belonged to Oliver Queen.

Except that Oliver Queen was dead… Wasn't he?

"Felicity, are you ready to play nurse?" Dig called out, gesturing to Roy, who was nursing a nasty cut on his arm.

Panic started to envelop Felicity, hot and thick on her chest as her breathing began to quicken. "Actually, I have a thing," she babbled. "I have to go see a guy about changing my feet and I forgot about it and I really have to get there right away."

Before anybody could challenge her, Felicity had grabbed her handbag and bolted out of the Arrow Cave as if her life depended on it.

* * *

><p>She'd tried hard to sleep that night, but her brain just would not shut up. She'd switched her cell phone off after she'd driven home like a madwoman and locked herself inside, praying that nobody would follow her.<p>

She knew that stress wasn't good for the Bug and she knew that the anxiety medication her therapist had prescribed for her to be taken in emergency situations was off limits, so all she could do was try one of the breathing techniques she'd been taught over the years and try desperately not to sob when it did nothing to quell her churning insides. Instead, she paced.

Then around 5am, her nose had started to bleed.

In some ways, it was a blessed relief. Here was a concrete, cause and effect problem that could be solved by following a set procedure. She rushed to the bathroom and stood over the sink, pressing wadded up toilet paper to her nose. A few minutes later, she pulled it away, only to realise the blood hadn't quite clotted and it dripped bright red on her pale blue camisole. She sighed and started the process again. After twenty minutes, the bleeding stopped and Felicity could clean herself up.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror; a thin strip of skin poking out between where her yoga pants and undershirt didn't quite meet. Felicity rested her hand on the bump. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Mommy's a little bit stressed, but I'll figure it out, okay? We're okay, Bug. I promise."

* * *

><p>There had been data entry that Felicity had been supposed to check for weeks but had avoided it because it was so boring, but it seemed to fit her mood perfectly- it was both time consuming and required just enough of her attention that she could drown the rest of the world out. She jumped when she heard Jerry call her name. "Ms Smoak," he addressed her politely. "There's a Mr Diggle who is here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment so I can tell him you're otherwise engaged if you'd prefer."<p>

Felicity looked at the time. She'd been in the office ridiculously early and she suddenly realised that she hadn't eaten breakfast and she was starving. "No, Jerry, that's fine," she responded, standing up and tugging on her coat as she moved towards the elevator. She turned back to her EA. "Could you hold my calls for the next half hour?"

Stepping out of the elevator, she zeroed in on Diggle. "The baby wants a cheese croissant and hot chocolate. Let's go, coffee's on me," she suggested.

Once Felicity had claimed her breakfast and handed Diggle his cup of black coffee, they moved towards a park bench that faced onto the street. The silence between them was comfortable. Once Felicity had twisted her napkin into so many different shapes it started to fall apart, she sighed. "Tell me I'm not crazy," she begged.

"If you're insane, so am I," Diggle replied.

"So we're definitely, absolutely sure it's him?" Felicity asked.

"As sure as we can be," Diggle replied. "He could answer questions that only Oliver Queen could have known. Both from me and from Roy."

"Oh, frack," Felicity sighed. God, she was so confused. She should be glad he was still alive. She'd spent hours lying in bed, begging any deity who might be listening for him to survive. She stood up abruptly. "I have to get back to the office," she announced.

Her heels were clacking against the sidewalk when she heard Diggle call her name. She turned around to face him.

"Are you going to tell him?"

Felicity shrugged. "I'm going to look like a whale sometime soon. I don't think I have a choice."

* * *

><p>Her breath had caught in her throat when she walked out of the elevator at the end of the day and saw Oliver standing there. "Holy crap," she squeaked, her hand coming to her chest in shock. "Sorry," she apologised. "I just wasn't expecting to see you," she said. The reason why she wasn't expecting to see him remained unspoken.<p>

"Can we talk?" He asked, his hand stowed in his pockets. He'd shaved, Felicity observed, but his eyes still had the same haunted look she'd seen last night.

Felicity shrugged. "You just came back from the dead," she responded. "The least I can do is buy you dinner."

He offered her a ghost of a smile. "Sounds perfect," he replied. His hand came to the small of her back as they stepped out into the Starling City sunset.

* * *

><p>The smell of rain soon to fall in the air and the electricity she could almost feel crackling each time Oliver's warm palm brushed against her frame had Felicity in a tailspin. She didn't know which way was up. He hadn't touched her like this since Sara had died. She had craved his touch like this for months and now that she had it… yeah, she was just confused.<p>

When they stepped into Felicity's favourite hole in the wall French restaurant, Oliver stepped behind her to help her with her coat as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Thus far, bulky clothing had saved her from the conversation she knew they had to have, so she quickly sat down before he could see the way her dress clung to her frame when she moved. She knew how carefully he paid attention to detail and she wondered how much longer it would be until he commented on the changes to her body.

She shot him a nervous smile before picking up the menu and opening it, only to stare at the pages and absorb nothing. A few seconds later, she realised that Oliver had been trying to get her attention. "Sorry," she muttered. "What were you saying?"

He was giving her that fond smile that she could have sworn was only for her. "Would you like a glass of wine?" He asked, gesturing to their server, who was waiting with a slightly snooty expression on his face.

"Oh, sorry," she apologised again. "No wine for me, please. A glass of orange juice would be excellent, though. But don't skimp on account of me. He'll have a glass of scotch, neat."

She was rambling again. Rambling and probably overstepping. God, she was an idiot.

"Scotch would be great," he answered the waiter. "Thank you."

Felicity almost rolled her eyes when the waiter strode away, his nose so far in the air she wondered how he saw straight. An awkward silence settled over the table. "Have some bread," she offered, lifting up the basket on the table and pushing it towards Oliver.

He caught hold of her wrist. "Is that new?" He asked.

She flushed. "Yeah," she answered, her left hand coming up to toy with her glasses. She couldn't bring herself to pull her right hand from his grasp. Not while the calloused pads of his fingers traced up and down the green arrow inked onto the side of her wrist. Gooseflesh pricked up all over her skin. "I figured I'd get something to remember you by."

His fingers stilled. The moment was broken by the return of the waiter with their drinks. "Are you ready to order?" the waiter demanded.

She really needed to look at the damn menu. Her regular Brie and duck order was out of the question because of the soft cheese factor. God, Oliver needed to be less distracting. "Umm, the beef special sounds good," she answered; completely flustered… Oliver still hadn't let go of her wrist.

After scrawling down their orders, the waiter stormed away. Felicity snagged her orange juice and took a long sip. If she used her imagination, she could taste vodka in there. "Oliver, you owe me one hell of an explanation."

"I know I do."

A lump formed in her throat. "I thought you died."

"I did die," Oliver replied, with the casual air that came with stating that the sky is blue.

"Oliver, that doesn't make sense. You're sitting right here."

"I climbed the mountain and I fought Ra's al Ghul. He put a blade through me, twice," He gestured to his hip and then his sternum. He let go of Felicity's hand long enough to roll up the sleeve of his shirt and point out the thick pink scar on his forearm.

"And then there was a doctor on site to patch you up?" Felicity interjected. She shivered, cursing herself for missing the feeling of Oliver's hands on her skin.

"Just let me tell the story, Felicity," Oliver admonished, his tone gentle as he enunciated each syllable of her name. "Ra's al Ghul is a man of many secrets. One of his secrets is the Lazarus Pits."

Felicity frowned. "Lazarus? As in…"

"Yeah, like the guy in the bible," Oliver confirmed. "They're found on ley lines. Ra's has a whole network of them under his control. You can throw a dead man into the pit and they'll restore him to life. Leave him in there long enough and his memory will be destroyed."

"Oliver!" Felicity burst out. "This is crazy talk, even for us. We talk about leagues of assassins and blood debts and promises not to kill anymore over coffee, but a pit that can bring somebody back from the dead? Surely you can hear how insane that sounds?"

"I know," Oliver replied, capturing Felicity's hands and squeezing her fingers. "I know I sound like I should be committed, but Felicity, I was dead. Ra's kicked me off the side of a mountain. But I'm sitting here right now, talking to you. When I woke up, I was lying in one of the pits. Ra's came and spoke to me. He said he knew I wasn't the one to kill Sara, which was why he afforded me the honour of reanimation."

Felicity couldn't help but let out a scoff. How was this guy even real? Oliver only raised his eyebrow before continuing. "Apparently, he admired my bravery in coming to accept a fate that wasn't my own. He knows it was all Malcolm. The League wants him, badly, and I'm struggling to think of a reason why we shouldn't just hand him over on a platter."

Felicity shrugged. She couldn't think of a reason either. Once again, the snooty waiter bringing over their meals broke the moment. The food smelled incredible and she really hoped that the Bug liked beef bourguignon and decided not to give her heartburn post dinner. This Lazarus Pit story Oliver was spinning still had her brain spinning, but the conviction with which Oliver spoke about it made her rational mind wonder if his story could possibly be true. "Let's just enjoy this meal, shall we?" Felicity suggested.

"Hopefully this one won't be interrupted by an attempt on our lives," Oliver replied, a smile quirking over his lips.

Felicity managed to hold her tongue until their plates were cleared before she asked the question that had been burning through her brain since the second she saw him. "Where does this leave us?" She didn't give Oliver a chance to answer the question before she continued. "Oliver, I can't keep walking down the path we were on."

"Whoa, Felicity, slow down," Oliver cautioned.

Felicity opened her wallet and handed her credit card over to the waiter who had tiptoed near their table. She was on a roll and she was not going to have her moment broken. "I need you to decide. Are you in, or are you out? Because I can't continue like this. You can't say you don't love me, but you refuse to be with me. We're not together, but you refuse to let me go. Then you finally say that you love me and then you go and die and you leave me all alone!"

She could see that he was distressed by her words and he wanted to interject, but she wasn't about to let him distract her before she said what she wanted to say. "Oliver, I can't keep getting jerked around like I'm a yo-yo. It isn't healthy and it's not how I want to live my life. I won't let you do it to me any longer and I won't let you do it to my baby."

There. The big secret was out in the open. Felicity felt some of the tension leave her body and she sagged against the back of her chair.

"You're pregnant?" Oliver murmured. He was slack jawed, completely taken aback by her revelation.

"Remember that scotch that tasted like regret and bad decision making?" She reminded him. "Well, it led to really, really bad decision making." She accepted her credit card back from the waiter. Looking at Oliver now, she could see why her mother had made the choice all those years ago to isolate her from her father's family. She needed to protect her child. Her child needed to know that they were loved and valued, and they would never have that if they had a father who wasn't completely committed being involved in their life. "I am going to say this once, and once only," she warned him.

"Whoa, Felicity, can we take this back a few notches, please?" Oliver interjected.

"No, Oliver, we can't take this back a few notches. I'm on a limited time frame here," Felicity responded, surprised by the bite in her tone. "This is it. This is your one time grace period. If you want to walk away, that's fine. There's no harm, no foul. I won't hold it against you. You didn't ask for this, but I've made my decisions. If you decide that you don't want this, I'm leaving Starling City. I'll remove myself from the situation so that I can't be tempted into having whatever crumbs of you I can get." A tear dripped delicately down her cheek and she mentally cursed her hormones. "But if you choose to stay, you can't walk out again. You can't decide that your life is too dangerous and ruin this child's life by leaving us. I will not allow you to damage this baby because you're too consumed by your own pain."

She cleared her throat and stood up from the table. "I love you, Oliver Queen. You never gave me the chance to tell you that. I do. I love you. But I love our baby enough to know that this holding pattern we're in isn't healthy. The pushing and pulling needs to stop. So I need you to decide, because I know what I want."

It took all her courage to keep her head high as she walked out of that restaurant. She slid her coat on at the door and fished her umbrella from her bag as she stepped out into the storm that had finally broken over Starling City.

She managed to make it to her car before she burst into tears.

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><p>Eeeep!<p>

Thoughts?

B x


	6. Chapter 6

Gosh... a few of you are a bit keen to see Oliver's answer!

Please note, this was self betaed, and I've been on a LOT of pain killers the past few days, so be gentle ;)

I own nothing but a sinceriously tshirt, which I hacked up because it was far too large.

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><p>Felicity allowed herself the catharsis of a good cry and once her tears were spent, she felt peace. She'd finally been able to say her piece and she could walk with her head held high, because she'd finally been able to stand up for herself and not allow Oliver's hero complex to steamroll her. There was nothing else she could do. It was all up to him now.<p>

With that in mind, Felicity started her car and drove home.

Felicity loved storms. Ever since she was a kid, she loved the way the Las Vegas strip had looked through a veil of rain and the crackling of lightning splitting the sky. The rain was cleansing the city the way that Felicity's soul had been cleansed and she was feeling a curious sense of hope about the future. That was a feeling she hadn't experienced for a long time. Life was going to be good. Felicity felt a skip in her step. It was high time she started getting ready for this baby's arrival. There was online shopping to be done.

Felicity was lost in her own little world of cribs and tiny little baby shoes and she really, really wasn't expecting to find a shivering and rain drenched Oliver waiting for her at her door. "What are you doing here?" She gasped. "And why are soaking wet? Come inside and get dry before you give yourself pneumonia!" She unlocked her front door and hustled him inside, rushing to her linen closet and pulling out towels to give him. "Did you walk all the way here?" She asked. She barely let him nod before she continued worrying over him, "Are you insane?"

"You didn't give me the chance to answer you," Oliver interrupted her, his hands closing over hers and stilling them as she rubbed a towel over his soaked frame.

Felicity took a chance to look at him. Soaked from the rain, his shirt clung to his muscular frame and he looked entirely too desirable. "Yeah well, I'm not going to be able to take any conversation we have seriously when you look like you should be on the cover of a Mills and Boon novel, so you're going to go have a shower, I'm going to go put on something more comfortable and then we can talk, kapish?"

He looked like he wanted to fight her, but he relented. "Okay," he replied.

She ordered him to throw his wet clothes in a laundry basket and she left clothes of his own that she'd co-opted at the bathroom door. Felicity was used to patching Oliver up after an evening of vigilante-ing, but the simple domesticity of putting his wet clothes in the washer and hanging his coat over a chair to dry was completely foreign to her.

Her breath caught, just for a second, when she heard the shower stop. The moment was about to catch up with her- she was going to get her answer.

He stepped out of the bathroom and came to lean against the kitchen bench. She could feel his eyes on her as she tinkered around the kitchen, preparing herself a cup of herbal tea. "I've been drinking a lot of tea lately," Felicity announced, moving over to her refrigerator to snag some milk, "and it's actually kinda nice, because it means my brain switches off at the end of the night and I can get some sleep, which is really pleasant," she turned and looked at him, "would you like a cup?"

He nodded. "That would be great."

Felicity almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Oliver had once swung on a rope like freakin' Tarzan, shirtless; to knock her off a live landmine and now they were dancing on eggshells around each other. She handed him his cup and nodded towards her couch. "You wanna talk? Let's talk," she suggested.

Felicity curled up against the arm of her couch, balancing her cup against the cushion on her lap. She tried not to read anything into the fact that Oliver had chosen to sit on the other side of the same couch, rather than the purple reading chair opposite her. His fingers drummed against his thigh. If it were anybody else, Felicity would have said he was nervous.

He took a deep breath. "When I woke up, I didn't know what was going to happen. My experiences of waking up in foreign environments when I'm surrounded by hostile strangers has never really been positive," he paused to take a sip of his tea and Felicity caught sight of that shiny pink scar on his forearm. "Then they clothed me. Gave me a bed to sleep in. And, in some ways, that was more confusing. I was alive and I didn't know how. There was nobody to explain anything. I still don't know how they initiate people into the League, but who says an extended period of isolation isn't the first step? It could certainly make a person desperate enough," he mused. He gave Felicity a rueful look. "But all that silence gives you plenty of time to think. And the thing I kept coming back to was how much time I wasted. I didn't know what the hell was going to happen to me, but if I hadn't been so damn stubborn, I could have at least had a few happy memories to keep me company rather than two years' worth of what ifs."

He put his cup down on the floor, before leaning over and taking Felicity's from her. He linked their fingers together. "Felicity, I'm sorry. I took away your choice in what happened between us and that wasn't fair to you. I completely understand if you tell me that I'm too late. That I should have seen what was in front of me sooner. But Felicity, I love you. You were my last thought before I died and my first thought when I left the Pit. I love you so much and I want to find a way to make us work, if you'll have me."

Felicity closed her eyes. She had to be dreaming. This couldn't possibly be real. She was finally hearing the words she'd wanted to hear for so long. "You know when you realise that you can have something that you've been wishing and hoping for, for as long as you can imagine and then when you can finally have it, you get scared?" She asked.

"I'm familiar with the feeling," Oliver replied.

"Well, that's where I'm at right now," Felicity admitted. "I want this. I want this so badly, but I'm scared. This is it for me, Oliver, so we have to do it right. I need baby steps, just until we figure this out."

"I can do baby steps," Oliver replied. "We have all the time in the world."

Relief flooded Felicity's body. A grin spread across her face and she started to giggle with girlish joy when he pulled her flush against his body, holding her so tightly it was almost painful. God, she'd craved the warm familiarity of his embrace. Her head was buried tightly against his neck and she started pressing kisses against whatever skin she could reach.

Oliver cupped her cheek with his hand, pulling away just far enough so that he could kiss her lips, his hand tugging her hair out of its sloppy ponytail and tangling his fingers through the blonde waves. "Felicity," he murmured. "I know you just said you need to go slow, and I think you're right, but you dropped a bomb on me tonight…"

Felicity slithered out of his embrace and stood up in front of him. She slowly slipped the hoodie she was wearing off her shoulders and tugged up her shirt, revealing the bare skin of her swollen midsection.

Oliver dropped onto his knees in front of her, his eyes wide with awe as he looked up at her. "Can I?" His voice hitched.

"Oliver, you don't have to ask," Felicity whispered, reaching to grab both of his hands, placing them onto her stomach.

His fingers traced the swell of her belly, his calloused fingertips mapping out the changes to her frame. He rested his forehead against the bump. "Hi," he whispered, his breath tickling her flesh. "I know I haven't been around and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Felicity could feel his tears as they trickled against her skin. "I'm your Daddy. I'm here now and I promise, I promise I'm not going anywhere ever again." He kissed the skin of her belly reverently and stood up. "You're crying," he murmured, his thumb coming up to brush at her cheek.

"Happy tears," she sniffled. "I can't tell you how many times I imagined you doing that. You have no idea how good it feels to experience it."

"Are there any other daydreams I should know about?" He asked her as he readjusted her shirt, fingers lingering over her hips.

"Falling asleep with you next to me and waking up the same way," she admitted.

"Is that enough of a baby step?"

"Sharing a bed? We're two consenting adults. I can handle it if you can," Felicity couldn't resist teasing him just a little bit. "Or is this your way of telling me you're not a cuddler?"

"You ready for a big secret?" Oliver leaned closer to whisper in her ear. "I've always loved cuddling."

Felicity grinned, "So that's the big secret I have to keep? I can tell the world that you've got a fetish for green leather and shooting arrows left right and centre, but if the tabloids heard about the cuddling, we'd all be done for?"

"It's my best kept secret," he teased right back. She'd never heard him sound so light-hearted. "Felicity, you should know I'm trusting you with this."

"If I have it my way, I'll be the only one to ever know," She pushed lightly on his chest. "Bedroom's the last door down the corridor."

"Sounds like you're not joining me," Oliver remarked.

Felicity resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Give me a minute," she admonished him. "Pregnancy gingivitis is not something to trifle with, so I gotta brush and I just don't think I'm quite ready for that level of cohabitation." She pecked a kiss on his cheek. "Just this once, I'll let you choose the side of the bed you want."

In a show of true maturity, Felicity did not slap the gloriously sculpted ass that was now all hers as he walked to her bedroom.

Her breath now minty fresh, Felicity trotted back to her bedroom. A smile crept over her face when she saw Oliver sitting on her bed, the sheets already turned down. "You even picked the right side of the bed," She marvelled, sliding her glasses off and placing them on her dresser. "Oliver Queen, I do believe you are the perfect man."

He grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards him. "I don't think I got the chance to tell you how much I love this tattoo," he lifted her arm towards his lips and began to drop kisses on the ink.

"Oh shit," Felicity cursed, her hand coming up to cover her nose as she turned tail and ran to the bathroom.

"Felicity," Oliver was right on her heels as she made a beeline for the sink. "Felicity, what's going on?"

"Nosebleed," Felicity answered, her shoulders scrunching up in agitation as she moved to grab toilet paper to stem the flow. "It's my new party trick. Don't worry, I can handle it. Go back to bed."

Oliver expertly grabbed her by her shoulders and moved her to sit on the edge of the bathtub. "Pinch your nose but don't tip your head back, okay?" His fingers carded through her hair soothingly as he reminded her to breathe through her mouth. "Have you got ice in your freezer?" He asked. At Felicity's nod, he pressed a kiss to her head and left the room. When he returned, he held up an ice pack he'd fashioned out of a few cubes and a damp washcloth. "Would you prefer to do the honours?"

Felicity shrugged. Sitting in her bathroom covered in blood wasn't exactly how she'd pictured her reunion with Oliver going.

"You know you don't have to do this," Felicity cautioned him, sounding far less convincing than she usually would with her fingers clamped around her nose.

He perched on the tub next to her, nudged her knees so she would angle her body towards him and carefully placed the icepack on her face. "I wasn't here for all the puking, so let me at least do this."

"I never puked," Felicity informed him. "I got really queasy over a few smells, my face looked like a pizza and I was so tired I wanted to curl into a ball and sleep forever, but there was no vomit, for which I am eternally grateful."

"Can you tell me more?" he asked.

Felicity shrugged. "There's not much to tell," she answered. "I was ten weeks along when I realised I was pregnant. I'm seventeen weeks now."

"Have you had any scans?"

She tried to nod around the icepack and her fingers. "Just one. Our kid looked like an alien."

"Seriously?"

"I have photographic evidence!" She smiled. "But hearing the heartbeat was pretty awesome."

Oliver pulled the ice pack away from her nose. "You should be good now," he whispered, pulling her back over to the sink. Dumping out the ice cubes, he rinsed the washcloth in warm water and began to clean the dried blood off Felicity's face as she washed her hands. "Do you think I could see the scans?"

"They only gave me photos after my appointment. Lucky for me, I was riding the subway that day and I had time to hack their server and grab the video." She grabbed his hand and pulled him back to her bedroom, gesturing for him to sit back down on the bed. Flicking through the tablet, she found the right file. "Best home movie ever," she announced, handing him the tablet, crawling onto the bed and curling into his side.

He let out a chuckle. "You weren't kidding about the kid looking like ET," he murmured, sliding his arm around Felicity and giving her a squeeze.

"I have another scan in a few weeks' time," she told him. "I'm told they start looking much cuter by that point."

"I don't care if Ra's al Ghul himself is here in Starling, I'll be there for it," he promised, planting a lingering kiss to her temple. The video closed and left on the screen was a series of thumbnails. "What are these?" Oliver asked. "Felicity Smoak, have you been taking nude selfies?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Queen," Felicity huffed, her hand coming to toy with her glasses before she realised she'd already taken them off. "They're nothing as salacious as that. My Mom demanded that I send her regular photos of the Bug, because she can't see me every day."

"Felicity," he pleaded. She was sure if she looked at him, she'd be hit with a case of merciless puppy dog eyes.

She clicked on the first photo. "There you go. That was when I was visiting my Mom in Vegas, so I was smack bang at ten weeks. Then there's a photo for every week after that."

She didn't know why she suddenly felt so self-conscious, but her cheeks were aflame and she had to turn and face away.

There was a gentle thud as she heard her tablet get placed on her bedside table and she felt Oliver tug the blankets over both of them before he moved behind her and spooned her frame. "Felicity, you're gorgeous," he whispered, his lips tickling her ear. "I always knew that you were beautiful, but now," he kissed the curve of her jaw, "Now you're the most stunning thing I've ever seen."

"Such a sweet talker, Mr Queen," Felicity murmured, her words beginning to slur as her eyelids grew heavier. "You better be here when I wake up."

Oliver's hand slipped down to her stomach, nudging up her shirt so his fingers could trace patterns on her skin. "There's nowhere I'd rather be."

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><p>Thoughts?<p>

Hit me up on twitter! brookemopolitan (I rant about TV and roller derby)

B xx


	7. Chapter 7

So- I feel that I should address an anonymous review I received (kudos to you, by the way, for being brave enough to put your name to your words. Your courage should be admired). Anon implied that Felicity was being unfair and pointed out that parents who aren't together raise kids all the time.

So yes, you're right, anon. That is a thing that is done regularly. However, Felicity is a delightfully flawed creature who is feeling lots of feelings right now, chief among them "protect my tiny human from being heartbroken by a father whom, based on my experiences with him, may walk in and out of my kid's life and make them question their self worth". This is a really critical part of my head canon for Felicity... long story short- she has daddy issues. I don't think her dad walking out on her and her mother was a clean break at all, and that's really done a number on her, even in her adult life. So of course that's going to play into her parenting choices. Besides, writing a perfect character with perfect responses to every situation is BORING! These flaws are way more fun to play with (and we'll see more of Felicity's issues down the line).

I still own nothing. I'm just a poor fan with a battered tailbone.

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><p>Felicity stirred to the feeling of stubble-lined lips brushing against her belly and the gentle rumbling whisper of Russian. She looked down and saw Oliver lying on his stomach, apparently deep in conversation with the Bug.<p>

"Good morning," she mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

"Shhh," Oliver quietened her gently. "We're busy catching up."

"Well, then, I'm very sorry I interrupted," she replied.

He gave her a roguish wink and turned his attention back to her stomach, resuming his one-sided conversation in a language Felicity couldn't follow. She let her eyes slip shut and she reached out and began to lazily card her hand through Oliver's hair. He pressed a series of smacking kisses against her skin and then he shifted upwards to lie next to Felicity. "Hey," he greeted her.

"Oh, you can talk to me now?" Felicity teased.

"Well, you tend to talk back," Oliver replied. "How'd I go for fulfilling a daydream?"

Felicity smiled. "Pretty blissful," she answered. "You sleep well?"

"Better than I have in months."

"I'm glad," Felicity whispered. She rolled so that her head rested on Oliver's chest, her fingers tracing the newest scar to his collection. "I have to tell you something," she whispered. "And I hope you're not mad when I do."

"Felicity, I don't think I could get mad at you right now," Oliver told her, his lips brushing against her hair. "You've made me way too happy."

"Oh, I don't know," she muttered. She sighed. "When you disappeared, Thea started calling me. She called a lot. And I just couldn't lie to her. Roy, Diggle and I, we decided that she deserved the truth. So we took her to the foundry and we told her everything." She turned her head so she could look at him. "I know how you feel about people knowing your secret, but I couldn't bear to lie to her. Please don't be mad."

"Felicity, breathe," Oliver started. "It's okay. And I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"No," Oliver confirmed. "I spent all of yesterday with Thea. There was some crying and then I let her yell at me for a while. After that, we had our first real conversation in seven years."

"And you're here, so that conversation couldn't have gone too badly," Felicity mused.

"We'll never have what we had before the accident but, with time, we might have something better."

"You should invite her to come and play with you guys," Felicity suggested. "Not necessarily out in the field, but I'm sure she could add something to your training. It'll keep you fresh. Plus you know, brother sister bonding over what kind of arrows are best or whatever."

Oliver's hand traced up and down Felicity's spine. "She likes you."

Felicity grinned. She knew that she was supposed to be a mature adult who didn't need the opinions of other women to validate herself, but she was glad to know that Oliver's only living relative didn't hate her. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Apparently you're good for me, because you won't put up with my crap and she finds that refreshing."

"She tells me that she's been asking for a niece or nephew since she was ten. I'm glad I could finally help you deliver on that front."

"You know she's going to throw you the most opulent baby shower Starling City has ever seen, right?" Oliver asked.

Felicity cringed. "That sounds like a problem for Future Felicity," she decided. She stretched like a cat, a noise like a baby dinosaur escaping her lips. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. "I haven't slept this late in quite some time."

"Do you have to work today?" Oliver asked. "Wouldn't want you getting in trouble with your new boss."

"Oliver, it's Saturday," Felicity reminded him. "My new boss isn't as big a hardass as my last one."

"Your last boss sounds like an asshole," Oliver announced, beginning to pepper kisses on Felicity's face.

"Oh yeah," She agreed. "He was a total jerk."

His lips moved to capture hers and she felt Oliver begin to push down the strap of the camisole she wore. An unfamiliar emotion flared in her chest. "Whoa!" She hissed, breaking free of his embrace and moving off the bed. "Way fast," she decided. "Baby steps, remember?"

"Felicity, I'm sorry," Oliver apologised, slowly moving around the bed towards her. "I didn't mean to push you."

"I think I'm going to go take a shower. I put your things in for a wash and dry cycle, so they should be ready for you to wear."

She was down the hall and locked in the bathroom before he could even protest.

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><p>She used her time in the shower to force herself to calm down. She wished that she could dismiss what had just happened as pregnancy related irrationality, but she knew she couldn't. It was yet another awkward conversation to be had. However, Felicity strongly suspected that she needed to have that conversation while clothed.<p>

Lyla really was a godsend. The extender she'd given Felicity to clip to into her pants was a lifesaver, especially because Felicity was keen to avoid Mommy jeans for as long as she possibly could. She twisted her hair into a braid and threw on a ridiculously soft sweater, before drawing a breath and heading out of her bedroom.

Felicity had expected Oliver to look contrite; a little boy caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar; she should have known better. She walked into her living room and found him dressed in yesterday's clothes, tension radiating from his frame. She sighed. She hadn't intended to lay on the guilt trip. She ran her fingers across his shoulders. "Stop beating yourself up," she ordered.

"Felicity, I didn't mean to…"

"Hey," she admonished gently, coming to sit next to him on the couch. "Listen to me. It's all right. I'm not mad at you, so don't you dare be mad at yourself." She grabbed his hands. "I admit I'm a little skittish right now, but please don't add this to the list of reasons why you torture yourself." She squeezed his fingers. "I'm about to be honest with you and not hold back, but if you're going to keep acting like I kicked your puppy, I'll keep it to myself."

He didn't respond, but he stopped staring at his hands, so Felicity barrelled on. "We've never properly spent a night together. I've either woken up alone or you've bid me farewell and disappeared for months on end because you were actually, literally dead. And now we're here. As much as I don't want to be, I'm nervous. I can't do the last few months over again. You've made me so happy and if that were to get ripped out from under me, I don't know what I would do."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?" Oliver asked.

Felicity paused. "I trust you with my life," she answered, completely honestly. "I trust you with my safety." She bit her lip, "But maybe I don't trust some of your instincts. The ones that say that you'd be better off to stay away from me to keep me safe. You should know that those instincts made me miserable. I think maybe I'm scared that you're going to follow those instincts. I don't want to be, but I am."

She let go of his hands and shifted closer to him, resting her head on his broad shoulder. His arms came around her frame. "Felicity, I'm always going to protect you," he whispered. "Now more than ever."

"And I'd never ask you to do anything less, but I need you to not just protect my life. I need you to protect my happiness, too. And I'm infinitely happier with you in my life than not."

He pressed his lips against her head. "I want this," he promised again. "I want us."

"And I believe you," Felicity replied. "At least, I believe you in my head. Give my self-preservation instincts a chance to catch up. But I'll get there. Especially if we have more nights like last night."

"I love you," he reminded her, peppering kisses on her lips.

"I love you, too," she answered before she stood up, grabbing his hands to pull him up with her. "It's Salmon Saturday. There's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go clean up so we can go!"

After washing up, Oliver obediently pulled on his coat and followed her down the stairs of her building. "Are you planning on explaining to me exactly what Salmon Saturday is?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she started down the street.

Felicity supressed the thrill of joy that flooded through her at being able to walk down the street, arm in arm with Oliver. "My Mom has given me a lot of advice over the past couple of weeks," she told him. "Some of it has been useless, but most of it has been pretty great. One of the things she suggested was that I should be eating fish regularly so that my baby would be smart. After some research, I found that there's a pretty strong link between the consumption of omega 3 and 6 when pregnant and a more intelligent and well balanced child so, consequently, Salmon Saturday was born." She tugged on his arm and pulled him into a café.

"Hey Felicity!" One of the waitresses called out. "You're late!"

Felicity shrugged off her coat. "I've been busy," she replied. "Table for the two?"

The waitress trotted over. "Sure thing, honey," she replied, gesturing for them to slide into a booth, handing them both menus, the waitress giving Felicity a not so discreet wink when she got a good look at Oliver's face.

"So, you come here often?" Oliver asked.

Felicity burst out laughing. "Who are you and what have you done to Oliver Queen?" She demanded.

"I do have a sense of humour, you know," he whined.

"Yeah, maybe, hidden deep down underneath all that Byronic hero," Felicity sassed him.

"I've been told that brooding is charming?"

Felicity raised an eyebrow. "I won't deny that," she responded. "But I actually like seeing you happy. It's a welcome change," she smiled. "Now, before you can say anything sappy that will make me hormonal and blubbery in the middle of my favourite café, decide what you're ordering because Val is on her way over."

Felicity shot the waitress a charming grin. "How's your week treated you, Valerie?"

"Oh, you know, same as every other," the older waitress replied. "You want the usual?" she asked.

"Yes please," Felicity replied.

Oliver was still studiously inspecting the menu, but Felicity knew him well enough to know that he was also studying the café for entry and exit points, any strategic advantage as well as assessing the number of people present and any threat presented.

"So," Valerie had all the subtlety of a meataxe. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Oliver," Felicity introduced them; nudging him with her toe under the table so that he'd pay attention.

Oliver looked up and immediately threw on the smile that Felicity knew had been developed entirely to charm strangers. "Pleasure to meet you," he offered politely.

"What can I get you, Oliver?" Valerie asked. She expertly scrawled down the answer and trotted away to the kitchen, not even trying to hide the way that she stared at the two of them from the café counter.

"So, fun fact about Felicity. I have some kind of aura that attracts overprotective yentas far and wide," Felicity informed him. She smiled when he reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "There is one thing we're going to have to figure out, though." She bit her lip, "I may have told my mother you were dead." She paused for a few seconds, but was unable to leave it there. "But in my defence, she was about to go on one of her deadbeat dad diatribes and I really couldn't stand to have her say such awful things about you so I snapped and told her, because I know you and I know that if the League stuff hadn't come in and ruined everything, you wouldn't have left me high and dry and you would have been there from the second I realised."

Oliver traced circles on her hand with his thumb, waiting for her rambling to come to a natural conclusion. He'd _missed_ her babble and to hear it again was like a spring of cool water to a parched man. "Are you done?" he asked, waiting for a natural break in her monologue.

She sighed. "I think so," she answered.

"How many people have you actually told that I was dead?" he asked.

"Me personally?" Felicity confirmed. At his nod, she answered, "Just Mom."

"Do you think she'd believe you if you told her I was volunteering overseas somewhere remote and there was an accident I was presumed dead in?"

Felicity sighed. "I guess it's the only thing that sounds credible," she agreed. "You have more lives than a cat."

Valerie arrived with their plates of food. "Don't you two look cosy?" She crooned, staring pointedly at their joined hands. "It's lovely to see that you've entered the picture, Oliver. I do hope we'll see you around a little more."

Felicity flushed crimson with embarrassment.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing plenty of each other," Oliver replied, his tone cool but polite. "Some business matters needed to be taken care of, but they're a thing of the past now."

"Good to know," Valerie sniffed before she bustled away.

"God, I'm sorry about her," Felicity whispered, before she took a sip of coffee.

"Should you be drinking that?" Oliver asked, gesturing to the coffee cup in her hand.

Felicity grinned. "I knew it," she murmured, placing the coffee up down again.

"Knew what?"

"I knew you'd be ridiculous and protective from the second you found out." She smiled. "I know you, Oliver Queen."

"Of course you do," Oliver was nonplussed. "You're the person that knows me best."

Warmth tingled through her chest. "For a long time, I never thought I would," she confessed. "You were a piece of code I'd never crack, no matter how hard I tried."

There it was… that soft smile on his face that turned her insides to mush. He squeezed her hand. "I'm not doubting you, Felicity…"

She rolled her eyes but grinned none the less. "It's fine," she promised. "I shouldn't be hydrating with Red Bull or anything like that, but the doctor told me that two small cups a day is okay. You can relax." She picked up her fork. "And you should eat. The baby's hungry."

The good Jewish girl in Felicity was delighted to see Oliver attack his meal with gusto. She'd noticed that he'd returned home much thinner than when he'd left and, if he were planning on going back into the field, she'd feel much better about it if he were at his former strength when he did.

"Are you planning on heading out this evening?" Felicity asked, smearing avocado across toast before she added a slice of salmon and scooped on scrambled egg and took a bite.

"Would it be particularly noticeable if I did?"

"Well, I'd notice," Felicity mused. "But the city wouldn't, if that's what you're asking."

"Dig?" he confirmed.

Felicity nodded. "At first it was just Arsenal, using the green gear. We couldn't have the residents of the Glades thinking they could run the place, so he went out alone and made Diggle slap bowls of water."

Oliver chuckled. "How did he cope with that?"

Felicity shrugged before she licked a chunk of avocado off her thumb. "He's actually not a bad shot now, at least from what I've seen. Nothing on the Emerald Archer, but he'll pass in a pinch."

"Good to know," Oliver mused. He cleared his throat. "Felicity, if you don't want me to…"

"Oliver, I will never ask you not to put on the hood," Felicity interrupted him. "I'm not going to be the one who asks you not to be who you are. You're not a choice between either Oliver or the Arrow, I love you _because_ you're both." Felicity fought to keep her voice low; this was not a conversation to be overheard. "The only thing I'll ever ask of you is that you make sure you're prepared when you go out there with that mask on."

He caught hold of her fingers, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. He didn't know how to express his gratitude, but he hoped his actions would be a poor man's substitute. "I'd like to at least get back to the foundry sometime today," he told her.

"It really hasn't changed much," Felicity informed him. "I've been working on a few security upgrades, but we've kept it pretty close to what it was before you left. I was planning on heading in sometime tomorrow, actually."

"But it's Salmon Saturday," he responded, giving her a wink.

Felicity flushed. Apparently he'd picked up on her subtle ogling at some point over the last two years. "I thought I was brave enough to try baby shopping today, I guess we should head down to the Glades instead," she agreed.

* * *

><p>Such fluff, wow.<p>

thoughts? friendly reminder that this isn't canon compliant (because I am MAD at canon right now. Canon is being a DICK! Feel free to leave me ranty feels about canon if you like)

B x


	8. Chapter 8

I am very, very sorry for any trips to the dentist that this chapter causes.

I own nothing! I am but a poor Aussie girl with a broken tailbone under the influence of too many painkillers.

Many thanks to my amazing beta!

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><p>Felicity would have been quite happy to head straight to the foundry, but when Oliver heard the words baby shopping, he'd been shockingly encouraging.<p>

"We really, really don't have to do this today, Oliver," Felicity pointed out for the umpteenth time as Oliver looped around the parking lot, looking comically squished in her Mini. After breakfast, he'd taken the keys from her hand as they walked back to where her car was parked in her driveway. The pleading look he'd given her had left Felicity unable to resist, so she simply huffed and stepped over to the passenger door. "You don't even have to come at all," she added.

Oliver spotted a parking spot and zoomed in with ease. "Are you making me into a deadbeat dad?" He asked.

Felicity frowned. "What?"

He'd moved around to open her car door before she could manage it herself. She accepted his hand and stepped out.

"When I told you I wanted this, Felicity, I meant it. I want all of it," his hand was warm on her elbow, the other resting at her hip. "It can't happen if you shut me out."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm not used to people wanting to be involved in every facet of my life." She took a deep breath to calm herself. At some point, Oliver would probably tease details out of her, but she was _not_ having this conversation in the parking lot of Babies'R'Us.

Oliver rested his forehead against hers. "Get used to it," he suggested before smacking a kiss against her lips, linking their fingers together and pulling her towards the store.

Upon walking in to the store, Felicity's jaw dropped. "Oh, frack," she sighed. "It's like the Twilight Zone."

Pastels. There were pastels everywhere. The Goth Girl that Felicity kept well under lock and key was screeching. "Everything is so small!"

"Where do we start?" Oliver asked.

Felicity was relieved to hear that he sounded just as overwhelmed as she felt. "This is research. We are not buying anything today. No, no, no. They're going to manipulate us," she let out a gasp as they walked past a rack of tiny onesies, "with tiny onesies that look like pandas," She grabbed one off the rack and held it against her belly. "Oh god, is ours going to be this tiny? That's so tiny!"

"I would have thought you'd want tiny," Oliver mused as he watched Felicity use all of her self-control to return the outfit to the rack.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, by all accounts, the process of childbirth doesn't sound particularly comfortable. Surely a smaller baby is going to make it slightly less painful?"

Felicity whirled around to face him. "Oliver Queen, this better not be you telling me you're going to wimp out and not be there when I'm pushing your child out of me," she growled, poking him in the chest. "You were there at the start, you better be there at the end."

He caught her hand before she could poke him again. "I would never dream of being anywhere else," he promised her. "It's going to be you and me. I'll be a nervous wreck because I don't like it when you're hurting and I really don't like it when you're hurting and there's nothing I can do to fix it. But I'll right there with you, holding your hand the entire time."

"You're going to make me and my stupid hormones cry in the middle of the baby store," Felicity sniffled.

"I doubt you'd be the first," Oliver replied, pulling her against his chest. With flat shoes on her feet, she tucked perfectly under his chin.

She breathed in his scent and kissed his neck. "I'm so glad you're back," she sighed. "Otherwise, I was going to have to ask my mother to be my birthing partner."

"There's nobody else you could ask?" Oliver inquired. He suddenly felt like an asshole. They spent majority of their time together, but Oliver was abruptly struck by how little he actually knew about her life. Surely she had a life outside of her job and her illicit activities supporting him.

Felicity shrugged. "One friend, maybe," she answered, stepping away from him and walking towards a rack of much more sensible looking white onesies that wouldn't make her hormones screech. "But she's on a crusade of her own these days. I actually don't know what country she's in."

"How can you not know what country she's in?" He asked.

"She's never come out and actually told me, but I taught that girl how to hack. The last eight times we've spoken, she's used a SHIELD frequency to contact me. If she hasn't thrown her eggs in that basket, I'll hand in my hacking qualifications now," she smiled as he stood behind her, his hand on the small of her back. "Hence, my Mom."

His hand traced up her spine as he chuckled. "Would that be so terrible?" he asked. "Your Mom held her own in a crisis pretty well from what I remember."

Felicity laughed out loud. "I had anxiety attacks every third day when I was in middle school. My Mom's advice was to "pour a drink, put on some lipstick and pull myself together". I don't think that's what I'm going to want to hear as I'm smushing a human out of a very small part of my body." She slipped an arm around his waist. "Shall we continue? I promise not to get too distracted by the miniature clothing."

Felicity was well aware that they were probably one of those disgusting couples that made everybody uncomfortable with their public displays of affection, but she really couldn't bring herself to care. She was too ridiculously happy that she could touch him, without the knowing looks of her team, to worry about the opinions of the random strangers that were giving them filthy looks for acting like love struck teenagers-the feeling of his stubbly kisses on her cheeks and his hands protectively cupping her belly more than made up for the occasional stare she received from a passer-by.

"When everything happened with Isobel, we couldn't get Thea to sign off on anything to protect our assets," Oliver began.

"I remember," Felicity replied, moving to take a look at a highchair, trying to figure out how quickly they were really going to need one.

"When Thea didn't sign, Mom had a lot of assets moved into existing accounts. She gave a lot of gifts in trust to distant members of the Dearden family whom I've certainly never met."

"Your mom could legal loophole like a boss," Felicity hummed, moving to probe the softness of a padded change table with the tips of her fingers. "Do any of those loopholes have to do with you winning back the company?"

"Yet to be seen," He replied ruefully. "But, one of the things she did leave in the possession of a Dearden relative was the Queen crib."

"Whoa, you rich people have family beds?" Felicity asked, raising an eyebrow over the frame of her glasses.

"Thea and I slept in that bed, as did our father and his father. I don't actually know how far it goes back, but it's a tradition I'd like to continue."

Felicity tilted her head to the side and pondered it. "As long as it's safe and isn't going to collapse with the poor child in there, I like it," she wrinkled her nose. "Although, I think we should get a new mattress."

"That's a compromise I can live with," Oliver agreed.

"That successfully eliminates one thing from the list," Felicity mused. She shook her head and let out a giggle. "You know that we're _that_ couple, right?"

"What couple?" Oliver questioned.

"That obnoxious couple who are disgustingly in tune with each other. We're the couple that everybody secretly hates. I think I might even hate us a little bit."

"You hate me?" Oliver asked, stalking closer to her.

Felicity knew that to anybody else, Oliver advancing upon anybody the way he was moving towards her would be intimidating. She knew better. He didn't bother disguising the affection in his gaze as he came close and slid his hands onto her hips.

"I believe I said I hate us, not you," she stuttered, slightly delirious with joy that they'd reached a point where he could touch her so freely in public without the weight of unresolved emotions. "But I don't hate us enough to stop doing this," she planted a kiss on the scruff of his chin, feeling a surge of pride when she saw her bright pink lipstick smudged on his skin.

"There's plenty more of the store to be seen, Felicity. Stop trying to distract me," he teased her.

Fingers linked, they continued to move around the store. Oliver paused when he saw a stand of books, a sign reading "For The First Time Father" displayed above it.

Felicity had been given weeks to get used to the idea of being a mother. She'd adjusted to the idea of being a parent, but she'd certainly needed time to wrap her head around it. Oliver hadn't been given that luxury. In the hours since his return, he'd been bombarded with all that he'd missed, information coming at him from all angles. She didn't blame him if he needed a moment to just stop and process. "Come find me when you're ready, okay?" She whispered, her hand brushing his shoulder affectionately. He nodded, so she rose on her toes and kissed the corner of his mouth before wandering away.

A yawn caught in her throat. The sleep she hadn't had over the last few days combined with the amount of adrenaline that had surged through her system was starting to catch up to her. Rounding a corner, she let out an audible sigh of relief when she saw lines of recliner chairs. Perfect.

"Do you need a break, or do you want to hear about the features of the nursing chairs?" A petite sales assistant asked Felicity.

Felicity frowned. Nursing… just another decision she needed to make. "How about you just show me the one you think is most comfortable and I'll take my time testing it out?" She suggested.

The sales assistant gave her a knowing smile, pointing to one of the chairs. "Personally, I think this one is good. You can recline it and it has a foot rest that pops out, which is good for late night feeds, but it's also good for later on in your pregnancy. A lot of women find that they can't get comfortable in a regular bed and this is a good alternative so that you can still get some sleep," she gestured to the arms of the chair. "The arms are a little lower because most Moms find the height of the arms on a regular recliner a little too high to be comfortable when feeding." she leaned forward and nudged the chair. "It rocks, literally, which can help you get the baby back to sleep without having to pace up and down a hallway."

Felicity nodded at the explanation. She still wasn't sure if a chair like this was a completely useless indulgence or completely necessary.

"You know what, test it out, just to be sure," the shop assistant gave her a wink. "You wouldn't be the first to do it."

Felicity didn't hesitate in sitting down in the seat and fiddling with the recline settings. The tiredness that had been held at bay finally hit her full force and the gentle rocking of the chair was _not _helping. Maybe she could just rest her eyes…

Oliver had never been the kind of guy who sat down and read. Before the Island, he was partying way too hard to even think about something as tame as reading and, since his return, there had always been something else that needed his attention. Being a dad though- he felt completely unequipped. He would _not_ allow himself to fail; there was simply no room for error. He had to get it right from the get go… winging it and figuring it out as he went along wasn't an option. His child came first- he'd read books, talk to anybody and everybody he knew who had a loving relationship with their child, just so that he could get it right. He wouldn't allow he and Felicity to live a farce of a life like his parents had. He was determined that his kid would be surrounded by parents who shared an authentic love, not a desire to "maintain appearances". Book clutched in hand, Oliver went looking for Felicity. Rounding the corner, his breath caught in his throat and a hot surge of affection tingled in his chest.

Felicity lay reclined in a chair, her hands resting comfortably on her bump, fingers laced together. A thought far too hopeful for a man like Oliver Queen bubbled through his mind. He wanted to put a ring on one of those elegant fingers. Her eyes were closed, her breathing deep and even. He still couldn't quite believe after all the hell they'd been through and after all she'd seen him do, the lives he'd taken, that she wanted anything to do with him. She was an impenetrable ray of sunshine, capable of breaking through the storms that had surrounded him since he stepped foot on Lian Yu and forcing him to see that he could have more than the misery he was drowning in. He knelt down beside her, calloused thumb tracing her cheek to rouse her. "Hey there, Sleeping Beauty," he greeted her, his voice soft despite the general noise of the store.

"I wasn't asleep," she defended herself, pushing up her glasses so that she could rub her eyes.

He chuckled. "Are you sure about that?"

She fixed him with the deadliest stare she could manage whilst comfortably reclined in a public place. "I was resting my eyes." She rubbed a hand across the soft leather of the armrest and adjusted the recliner so she was sitting upright. "We are _so_ getting one of these, by the way. This is the most comfortable chair I've ever sat in."

He held a hand out to her and helped her up. "Have you been pushing yourself too hard?" he asked, inspecting her face for signs of tiredness.

"I'm fine," she drawled, her hands coming to cup his face and she gave it a gentle shake. "These past few days have been intense, that's all. I didn't even realise that I was tired until I stopped for a few minutes. My energy levels have actually been great, lately."

"We're not going out tonight," Oliver decided.

Felicity raised an eyebrow. The fact that Oliver had chosen to use "we" when he announced they'd stay in like a retired couple instead of the "you" he would have used in the past was significant. She knew he'd never stop being protective of her, but now he was listening to what she wanted rather than steamrolling her with what he thought was best. "Nice try, stud," she responded. "But if you wanna stay in, all you have to do is say so. Once I've taken a nap I'll have no problem being in your ear all night."

She could practically see the two sides of him warring- he was battling between the instinct to wrap her in cotton wool and glue himself to her side and the desire to get back out on to the street and continue his mission of clearing the streets of Starling of all those who had failed the city. She sighed. "Compromise?" she suggested. "I go home and take a nap but, I promise, if the nap doesn't help, I'll say so, okay?"

"Okay," he relented. "Is there anything you'd like to check out?"

Felicity shook her head. "Not really," she replied. "I'm going to have to start buying new clothes sometime soon, but I'm not going to put you through that." She looked down at the copy of _The New Father: A Dad's Guide To The First Year_ in his hand. Instinctively, she knew that grabbing a book to figure out what he didn't already know was not a typically Oliver Queen instinct. She decided it was wise not to comment on it. Instead, she shot him a smile when she felt his hand fall to the small of her back as they walked towards the registers. Her curiosity burned as Oliver paid for the book, but she reminded herself that really, somebody else's finances were none of her business. She kept reminding herself of those few facts as they walked to the car. She was so busy thinking about it that she didn't notice him open the car door for her or help her into her seat; two things which, in normal circumstances, she would have made a perfunctory argument against before he gave her _that _look and then she'd relent with a huff.

"Did say something?" Oliver asked as he navigated back to her house.

She broke out of her reverie. "I didn't say anything," she insisted.

"I know," he agreed. "You were not saying anything very loudly."

She flushed. She didn't know what to say, but she knew that her mouth was probably going to get her in trouble and she just did _not _want to burst the happy bubble they were in.

"The thing about stocks is that what goes down eventually goes up again," Oliver told her, answering the question that had Felicity had yet to articulate. "Even though Isabel did her best to make sure that my shares in the company were essentially worthless, they've since gone up exponentially in value," he cleared his throat. "I hate to say it, but Ray Palmer has been good for my family's company."

"Didn't he buy you out, though?" Felicity asked. She really needed to scrub up on understanding how exactly owning shares in a company works, especially now that she was VP of said company.

"There were a number of shares that were left to me through my trust fund, which was unconnected to Queen Consolidated, so they weren't dissolved by Isabel. Now that the company is doing as well as it is, I've actually got some cash to live off."

"It's a shame," she sighed, a teasing lilt to her tone. "You would have made such a good trophy boyfriend. I could have forced you to wait on me hand and foot and be my arm candy at corporate events. I'll have to come up with a new plan for you now."

Oliver parked the car in the driveway at her townhouse, once again moving too quickly for Felicity to open the door before he got there. He helped her out of the car, his hand slipping to her waist as they began to walk to the front door. "You're acting as though you'd have to force me to do all those things anyway," he commented, handing her the keys so that she could unlock the front door.

"I'm going to hold you to that," Felicity sing-songed, punching in the code on her alarm system. "You're going to be painting my toenails when I can't see my feet."

"Am I getting started on the indentured servitude now then?" He asked.

Felicity wrinkled her nose. When she'd dozed off in the store, it had only reminded her of how tired she really was. "I think I might just take that nap," she answered, her answer punctuated with a yawn. "Feel free to help yourself to whatever's in the refrigerator; it's actually pretty well stocked these days. I helped myself to cable as well, so there's that," she paused, knowing that a full-blown ramble was coming but she was unable to contain it. "Not that I expect you to just hang out here while I'm sleeping. I don't expect that at all. I'm just generally letting you know what amenities I have availa…"

Oliver kissed her. He'd long wondered if it would be an effective way to cut off Felicity's rambles when she was digging herself into a hole…it was a sacrifice he was willing to make, over and over again. "I'll be here when you wake up," he promised her.

She coloured. "I'm glad," she answered. "But like I said, what's mine is yours, okay? Help yourself to anything."

His arms slid around her, drawing her to his chest. "Okay," he answered, his lips brushing against the crown of her head. When he felt her lean her weight against him, he swept her up into his arms.

"What are you doing?" She squeaked, her arms instantly tightening around his neck.

He grinned. "Figured I'd get some practice in as a trophy boyfriend," he answered easily. "How am I doing so far?" he asked, setting Felicity onto her unmade bed with a surprising amount of delicacy.

Felicity shrugged. "A girl could get used to it," she answered. She stood up and crossed to her drawer, pulling out a well-worn shirt and placing her glasses on the dresser. Her back to Oliver, she stripped off her sweater and tugged on the shirt, breathing a sigh of relief as she took off her bra that was rapidly becoming too small and stepped out of her jeans. She turned around. "You're still here," she muttered. She figured he would have wandered off after depositing her on the bed.

"How many of my shirts do you have?" He asked.

Felicity shrugged. "A few?" she answered. "I'm not sure how many, to be honest. I found a few at the foundry and co-opted them. I think Thea realised, because more just kept appearing."

Deep in the most masculine part of him, there was something that acutely affected Oliver about seeing Felicity in his clothes. It was the same part of him that felt a surge of pride every time he saw Felicity's swollen stomach.

"Is this you asking for them back?" Felicity asked, slipping into bed.

He lay down behind her, fitting himself as the big spoon around her. "Never," he answered. "If I had it my way, they'd be all you ever wore."

His warmth behind her was _so_ comfortable and the circles he traced on her forearm only made her eyes feel heavier. "You're so bossy," she muttered, her words slurred. The last thing she was aware of was the feeling of his lips against her neck as she finally fell asleep.

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><p>I wasn't kidding about the dentist.<p>

Come and play with me on twitter.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm encouraging you all to think of this as the "calm before the storm". Actual plotline is coming, I promise!

Somebody did ask if I'd be including the idea of Conner Hawke in this fic. The short answer is no, I don't think so. I go where the muse takes me, but reasonably, I can't see it being much of a feature in this fic. Perhaps an offshoot that I write in the future, but ehhhh, again, not likely. Many fic writers have done that idea justice in this fandom and I just can't see a new angle I can take with it (and what's the point of writing something that's just rehashing someone else's idea?)

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><p>Waking up to see Oliver Queen, propped up against the headboard of her bed, his brow furrowed in concentration as he studied the book in his hands was a sight that Felicity Smoak could get used to. She counted it as just another way that her life had been turned upside down since Oliver had walked into her tiny office, bullet ridden laptop in hand. She stretched and reached a hand out to squeeze his knee affectionately. "Don't concentrate too hard there, handsome," she teased, her voice raspy.<p>

A smile crept across his lips. Taking note of the page number, he put the book down and turned to her. "You talk in your sleep," he stated.

Felicity shook her head. "I know," she answered. "It used to drive my Bubbe insane." She paused for a moment, as if lost in a memory. "Bubbe would have liked you," she told Oliver, reaching a hand out and lacing her fingers with his.

Oliver chuckled. "A parental figure liking me? That would be a first."

"She would have!" Felicity insisted. "Bubbe's family escaped the Iron Curtain. She was the first in the family to be born here. It was her eternal disappointment that I speak neither Hebrew nor Russian. So she would have liked you a lot."

A fond smile spread across Oliver's face. "So I'm not teaching the baby Cantonese, then?"

"Bubbe would haunt us if you did."

"What was her name?" He asked. Felicity spoke so rarely of her family, so he was determined to find out as much as he could while she was being so open and unguarded about her history.

"In English, it was Eve," she answered. "According to Big Bubbe, my grandmother was the start of a new, better life," she looked up at Oliver. "She practically raised me. Mom was always working when I was a kid, so it was just Bubbe and me. She was my greatest encourager. She never, ever let me settle for second best and, if she ever heard about me not living up to my full potential at school, there was hell to pay. Her family didn't escape the gulags for me to be average."

Oliver laughed out loud. "She sounds like a character."

"She was," Felicity answered. "She died of lung cancer when I was fourteen."

Oliver lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to it. "I'm honoured that she would have liked me," he told her, the earnestness plain on his face.

The buzzing of Felicity's phone broke the moment. She glanced at the caller ID and answered immediately. "What can I do for you?" After listening for a few moments, she hung the phone up.

"Who was that?" Oliver asked.

Felicity stood up. "That was Detective Lance," she answered. "He gave me a couple of hot tips for leads we could chase, should we need some entertainment," she moved towards her chest of drawers before beginning to rummage around for clothes. "Looks like there's plenty for us to do."

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><p>Felicity let out a happy sigh as she watched Oliver work his way up and down the Salmon ladder. Beyond the obvious attraction, it was amazing to feel the knot in her stomach release as things went back to normal. Except her stomach hadn't stopped roiling.<p>

Felicity froze. That wasn't her stomach…

"Oliver!" she called out frantically. "Oliver, I think the Bug is moving!"

She knew he could move fast, but she'd forgotten just how quickly he could clear a room.

His hands rested on her belly. He frowned. "I don't feel anything," he told her.

The little flutters hadn't stopped. She shot him a smile. "I can," she told him. "But it's probably a little soon for you to. The kid's only the size of a turnip." She could see he was disappointed, so she rested her hands on his sweaty shoulders and tugged him forward so she could give him a kiss. "If this kid is anything like their Dad, we are both going to be able to feel the kicks very, very quickly. We're going to have a badass baby."

"Guys, we have to work out a system for this! Arrows in the door, or a sock, or something!" Roy whined. "I can't keep walking in on this!"

"Keep?" Oliver echoed, one of his eyebrows raised.

"Ohh, you are playing with fire there, Harper," Felicity hummed. "Need I remind you about the incident two weeks ago? You know, the one where…"

"Okay, that's just unnecessary," Roy interrupted her. "We're all adults here. We can find a way to make this work."

Felicity rolled her eyes. She knew Roy had a healthy fear of Oliver's temper and it never ceased to amuse her that Roy was still keeping up his ridiculous charade of hiding the details of his relationship with Thea from her big brother. "Is Diggle on his way?" Felicity asked.

"Yeah," Roy answered. "Apparently the nanny is running late and Lyla's current location is classified, so he's gotta stick around until the nanny arrives."

"Great," Felicity answered. "I'm going to chase up some leads from Lance. You boys go… hit each other."

Her computer screens still overlooked the training mats and Felicity allowed herself a satisfied little sigh as she watched Oliver and Roy size each other up before they started sparring. Oh yes… it was a glorious time to be alive.

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><p>The singular best thing about having a secret lair located underneath a club was that there was absolutely no need to worry that there was too much noise coming out of said lair. Lance had suggested that if they weren't busy, their friendly neighbourhood vigilantes would be more than welcome to take a look into a series of burglaries of pharmacies carrying high strength opiates that were being cooked into smack and sold on the streets. It had been easy enough for Felicity to figure out what drug store would be hit next and judging from the lack of chatter on the comms, they were still staking out the store and didn't need her assistance.<p>

With that in mind, Felicity took advantage of the speakers that Thea had kindly donated when she upgraded Verdant's facilities and cranked her favourite "it helps me think" playlist. She'd had an idea marinating for weeks and now was the perfect time to play with it. The thumping beat helped her think.

Oliver walked back into the foundry, his steps deliberately kept quiet, Roy and Diggle following him. He really didn't need to make an effort to keep quiet… there was no way Felicity would have heard him.

Her blonde ponytail was flicking around like a whip, her head bouncing to the heavy beat of the drum. The foundry was practically shaking from the bass vibrating out of the speakers. Her concentration on her task was singular and, combined with the thumping music, she clearly hadn't realised that anybody else had entered the building. A smile playing on his lips, he moved over to the speaker and flicked it off.

Felicity let out a loud gasp, wheeling around on her chair, clearly trying to prepare herself for whatever she may be faced with.

"You know the baby can hear that noise, right?" Oliver asked, his tone light and teasing. "What the hell was that, anyway?"

"Come on, Oliver. Don't tell me you really bought that Felicity was all panda shoes and sunshine," Roy interjected from where he was stowing his gear. He turned to Felicity. "What did you think of that band I told you about last week?"

She shrugged, looking over at Roy. "Not bad at all," she answered. She raised an eyebrow at Oliver. "You've been doing your baby research. Colour me impressed, Mr Queen." She felt a tiny thrill of pride when she saw was had to be the closest thing to a blush she'd ever seen on Oliver's cheeks.

He came and stood behind her, turning her to face her desk, gloved hand resting on her shoulder. "What are you working on?"

She shrugged. "Cisco and I have been throwing some ideas around, so I thought I might take advantage of an empty lair to play with them," she gestured to her desk. "I'm working on a tracking device."

"We have plenty of those," Oliver pointed out.

Felicity shrugged. "Yeah, but we don't have any that are undetectable to conventional scanners, powered by pulse beat and small enough to be inserted into the body without a surgical procedure or being visible under the skin." She looked up at Oliver. "I am not having you disappear on me again, do you understand?"

His thumb rubbed soothing circles on her shoulder blade. "I understand completely," he answered.

"The idea is that the whole team will have one," Felicity explained. "That way, if anybody is ever caught and stripped of their equipment, I'll still be able to find you. I'm writing a program so that I can monitor the devices on the go."

Once upon a time, he would have given her a look that seared her soul. Now, he simply kissed her temple. "I'm happy to be your guinea pig," he volunteered, lips close to her ear.

They were doing it. They were being the couple that everybody hated. She playfully bumped her forehead against his before she stood up. "So, did you get your guy tonight?" She asked.

"Nothing we couldn't handle," Digg replied from where he stood near the stainless steel chest of drawers, neatly replacing the weapons he'd taken out with him on patrol.

"They're all served up and Lance already has guys all over it," Roy answered. "Go Team Arrow."

"Well, the night is young," Felicity pointed out. "Don't you want to keep hunting down bad guys? I'm sure I can find you somebody in Starling doing the wrong thing."

The boys exchanged looks.

"Or," Roy began. "We could go have a life. It's a thought."

Felicity didn't quite know how to respond to that. Diggle only shrugged, so she looked over at Oliver. She wasn't entirely sure she wanted him back in the field so soon after returning home, but like she'd promised him earlier- she wouldn't make him choose between life as The Arrow and life as Oliver Queen.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with a dead man easing back into life," Oliver mused. "Take the night, guys."

Roy was out of the door so quickly Felicity could have sworn he was taking tips from Barry. Diggle bid them both goodnight and cleared the room soon after.

Felicity carefully locked away the tracking chip prototype before turning to face Oliver. "So, work/life balance, huh? This whole mostly dead thing looks good on you."

Oliver frowned. "Mostly dead?"

Felicity scoffed, before summoning up her best Billy Chrystal impression, "It just so happens that your friend here is only _mostly_ dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly _alive_. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do."

Oliver barked out a laugh at Felicity's impeccable Yiddish American accent. There was still so much he didn't know about her and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life figuring it out. Hope buoyed in his chest, hot and pleasant. He couldn't remember a time where he'd felt this content.

"I can tell by the confusion on your face that you've never seen _The Princess Bride_," Felicity assessed. "Oliver, we can't continue like this. You need to see it, tonight. Hurry up and get changed!"

With that declaration, she grabbed her handbag and fished out her keys. A night of normalcy was exactly what she'd been craving and she couldn't wait to make it happen.

* * *

><p>I'm sorry to say it, guys, but my updates may start slowing down slightly over the coming weeks. I have over 30 papers to mark before next Tuesday, then I have five classes of reports to write, a debate to adjudicate then I have two exams to write (and this isn't considering that I actually need to like, prepare and teach). So my real life needs me right now (so rude!). Of course, this is now when I'm feeling the most creative.<p>

Bear with me if these updates slow down, because I'm NOT abandoning the story. The ending is becoming clearer and clearer in my mind. However, I just need the time to write it all down.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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